simple self-love nourishment

be your valentine

…This journey is uniquely yours, no one else’s… The path has to be your own. You cannot imitate somebody else’s journey and still be true to yourself. Are you prepared to honor your uniqueness in this way?

Jon Kabat-Zinn

I know. It’s so cliché. But love is love and love is real, and as such self-love is real, and as such it is a necessary component in life – especially when it comes to understanding what it means to love one another.

This looks different for everyone, and it goes far beyond indulging in chocolates or bubble baths or a swanky dinner. Although those are all wonderful components of life, self-love can be a daily practice, and we do not have to rely on a holiday to express our love toward our Selves and each other. [Read that again.]

Acts of self-love toward ourselves are an offering of the attention and affection we desire and deserve. This results not only in feeling delicious, but it teaches us that we have the capacity to approach others with a similar awareness and kindness – which results in happier relationships, communities, and so on.

In a nutshell: do what you need to do to feel good, but – as I am working on myself – consider what replenishes and reinvigorates you without it resulting in a specific goal or bettering yourself. In other words: do you, and do it for the sake of feeling great.

Here are a few nourishing self-love practices that help me personally:

• Listen to a Metta or Loving Kindness meditation. Practice extending love to others and your Self, exactly as we are, without prerequisites. Give yourself time if it doesn’t feel natural at first.
• Listen to your body. If you’re tired, rest: get a massage, take a bath, take a 10-20 minute nap, try to go to bed by 11 pm. If you’re pumped, move: yoga, dance, walks/jogs/runs, weights, swims. Eat sleep repeat.
• Nourish your body. Whether a daily meal or a delicious treat, what foods make you feel nurtured, energized, and delighted [see below for delightful dessert inspo]?
• Nourish your mind. Listen to music or a podcast, watch a feel-good movie or show, visit a museum, write and read for no reason other than for the sake of pure enjoyment.
• Nourish your heart. Call or hang out with a dear friend or family member. Write a hand-written love letter to yourself to open in a year, or a loved one to open now. Tell someone you care, and receive their love openly – both the offering and receptivity of affection are powerful acts of self-love that can instantly illuminate the heart.
• Nourish your lungs. Take a few moments to connect to yourself in this way. I have been loving Dr. Weil’s 4-7-8 breath [4-count inhale, 7-count retention, 8-count strong exhale out of the mouth].
• Get outside and/or get to nature. Inhale fresh air. Hug a tree. Look up. Give thanks.
• Get away – physically or metaphorically. Take yourself on a date, whether somewhere new or a favorite local spot; whether a day/weekend getaway or yoga retreat [hint hint] or month-long sabbatical. Give yourself space, and honor yourself with whichever one of these scenarios hits home for you – even if it means creating a stay-cation at home.
• Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Set boundaries and remember that No, thank you is a complete sentence. Everyone has opinions and demands or favors. A great act of self-love is trusting ourselves and our own intuition – and moving forward accordingly. Of course it is wise to seek wisdom and insight from trusted teachers, but our bodies and hearts ultimately know what’s best for us – whether we consider a suggestion or stick to our gut-instinct. There will always be a counter argument of why something is good/right or bad/wrong; why you should or shouldn’t make time for something. Pause, check in, and do what feels right for you. And to all those who can’t hang with your decisions: bye / blessings on your journey.

How do you practice self-love toward your body, mind, heart, and life in general?

Perhaps take some time to journal or meditate with this inquiry and see what comes up for you.

Read the newsletter for delightful dessert inspo, my Matchaful meditation in NYC, 2020 retreats with The Good Life, a feel-god podcast, and good vibes.

Onward.

Photo: Yasmina Schoueri / Eibsee, Germany.