joy in the moment

no external seeking required

And if you find yourself wondering: / where do you go / from here, / standing at the foot / of a mountain / you did not want / to meet this year, / may you know that you are free / to take all the time you need / to rest, to grieve, / to heal, to be: / wrapped / in the arms / of boundless peace, / deep within the wild / in these all-new / uncertainties.

Morgan Harper Nichols

These past few weeks of re-entry back to NYC from France have been a full fledged roller coaster of emotions and physical activity.

I was quickly reminded that the life of a yoga teacher here is not unlike running a goddamn marathon: bouncing around like a ping pong ball to and from class, carrying heavy bag[s] with food and many belongings, walking/running/waiting for trains with said belongings, possibly getting stuck on said trains, figuring out where and when to eat between jobs [in endless pursuit of WiFi], maintaining sanity and personal space/upkeep amidst it all…

Don’t get me wrong – I am deeply honored to do this work and would not trade it for the world. It is, however, very easy to complain in this city. When asked how I am doing, I can naturally dive into the typical descriptors: busy, tired, annoyed, overwhelmed, can’t keep up, wiped the F out. Especially with my current state of un-groundedness between house sitting and sublets, I have found myself quick to get emotional and end up in a state of distress.

Per Tara Brach’s meditation on saying yes to life, I have recognized that the more I say yes and thank you to whatever comes up — and the more I express gratitude to what I have/what is going right versus what I lack or am upset about — the more I notice the joy and miracles in the moment. Even when tears are shed, I have been learning to meet them with yes and thank you — not to diminish or ignore my feelings, but instead to remind myself of the light in what sometimes feels like darkness.

We will always be seeking or looking forward to something – a new job, an improvement for our home or our Selves, an item on our grocery list or to-do list, a vacation, a clean closet, a massage, a more solid relationship with someone.

What I have been doing my best to practice lately is not only to honor the future desires that I believe will bring me contentment, but more importantly to appreciate the joy in the moment itself, just as it is. No external seeking required.

There are certainly moments where we are not capable of finding joy, as reminded by the recent anniversary of 9/11. I am not going to try to convince myself or anyone that people could have cultivated happiness during that moment. In times like these it is simply necessary to do what you need to do to protect yourself and feel whatever you’re feeling.

In the aftermath of the dark, however, we may eventually reemerge from the rubble and find the little sparks of light: the people who help out, support, stand for peace, act out of love. The ways in which the community bands together. The kindness and heroic strength shown to one another in times of grief and dis-ease.

Xan Oku says, “May the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary.” This is not to say that every moment is challenging and dark, but more-so that when we feel stuck in a dirt hole, we must remember that eventually – if not perhaps in the moment itself – there is love and light to be found somewhere, however small.

With the intention of inspiring our ability to infuse some lightness into heavy times, here are a few little bits of joy that have helped me cultivate some softness through personal challenges:

• The profound simplicity and calming wave-like motion of our breath.
• The ability to scan these words on this screen with our functioning eyes.
• The beat of our alive heart.
• The sounds around us – whether sirens [hello New York] or silence.
• The feeling of the air on our skin.
• The roof over our head; the food in our pantry and bellies.
• The opportunity to learn and grow from the experience – on our own time, whenever we are ready.
• A fond memory – grateful for its imprint and/or lessons.
• The loved ones in our lives whether near or far, present or in our hearts.

What helps you stay as grounded and as content as possible in the present? What are your personal little bits of joy in this moment?

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Photo by Grant Henry Media.