practicing knowing in the unknown

believing is seeing

One day you will look back on days like this and you will be so glad you did not give up. You will be grateful that grace was enough, no matter your highs or your lows.

Morgan Harper Nichols

This past year I’ve been navigating my little lifeboat, riding the waves on both rough and smooth waters, tossing things overboard to lighten the load, and cultivating a sense of “home” wherever I am currently floating on the map. Sometimes there is land in sight and sun overhead, other times the weather is tumultuous and unforgiving.

Whatever the case, wherever I am, however I feel that day, wherever the compass is pointing – I meet myself where I am at, which is often a state of wondering where I will end up next.

As such, I have recognized a deeply ingrained pattern of wanting to control my situation and outcome. The circumstances I have found myself in, however, have left me little choice but to sit with the discomfort and uncertainty [and the two as they exist together] and flow onward as best I can – with wiggle room for a meltdown here and there.

A concept – and full-fledged daily practice – I have come across on this journey has been to practice knowing within the unknown. It goes beyond believing – no need to convince myself, because I ultimately know that I am supported and guided, even when the going gets tough.

On days like today when things feel uncomfortable and uncertain – when I am caught in the rain with non-waterproof gear and can’t remember what I left in storage and don’t know where I will be living in a few weeks time – I remind myself to say a big fat genuine Thank You for what I do have versus what I don’t have. Even in the realm of the unknown, there is much to be learned and even more to be thankful for.

This does not mean resorting to a state of passivity, but rather adopting more intentional and attentive action. What we do translates to how we feel and vice versa – when we become aware of this, we can take more effective steps that lead to how we ultimately desire to feel.

There will always be something to aspire to; we must recognize these moments as they arise, however big or small, whether or not they look like how we envisioned.

Whether it feels like the glass is half empty, half full, overflowing, barren, shattered, or spilled all over the floor like a deep red wine seeping into white carpet – all of us reading this have the gift of breathing, loving, and experiencing the full spectrum of emotions in this life. It might not make living with the unknown any easier, but it can certainly help cultivate a bit of peace in apprehensive times.

Here are a few words I revisit daily and things I’ve practiced since my summer in France to help soften my anxiety in uncertain situations:

• Set an intention. How do you intend to ultimately feel, or what do you intend/desire to do? Think generalized specificity if coming up with details feels challenging for you.
• Pray for guidance. Ask for assistance whether it’s from a friend, family member, or Universe/God. It is OK to receive support; allow yourself to lighten your load.
• Remember your courage. You’ve made it this far, whether or not things have worked out the way that you thought they would. My teacher Nikki Costello told our class recently to remember that we’ve gotten through difficult times; to cultivate strength in the moment and move forward with conviction.
• We are strong and resilient. This doesn’t mean there won’t be moments when we look up to the stars in desperation; when we feel like we can’t take it anymore or hold the pain any longer. Just like our skin heals from wounds, however, our hearts and minds heal from distress. We will and we can weather the storm – there is light on the other side.
• Trust. Know that you are always supported by the Universe/God/whatever higher power you believe in, and by loved ones. Things shift, and things work out in time.
• Surrender Control. Let the Universe’s GPS take the lead instead of feeling like you need to control every step of the way. No need to rush or stress about an unpredictable future; it is all unfolding as it should.
• Practice joy in the moment. Notice what is currently going well versus what is wrong, even if it feels challenging for the time being. All is [or at least all will eventually be] well.
• Get messy. Throw everything out the window. Be bad. Break the rules. Throw a fit. Stay up past your bedtime. Do something out of character. Then come back to yourself. It is 100% OK to have emotions and feel feelings, so long as we remember to return to love.

Morgan Harper Nichols writes, “I do not know what yesterday looked like for you, but I do know it was not the final chapter. I do know you are still breathing and there are more days ahead that will truly matter.”

What helps you cultivate a bit more ease in times of uncertainty?

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Photo by Grant Henry Media at Yoga Vida USQ.