savor the now to support you later

The Four Rememberings:
1. To recognize reality directly (who we are).
2. To rest in that.
3. To release all doubts.
4. To roam freely like a happy dog.

Eric Colvic, quoted by Tara Brach

When was the last time you really let yourself be fully immersed in and truly savor the moment?

As we continue to inch our way from a primarily virtual lifestyle back into interacting with people in real life, I not only aim to savor these in-person moments more regularly now that I’ve experienced the opposite [thank you, next], but also reflect on that which I’ve savored during a challenging period of isolation.

This gratitude-like practice has been seriously supportive in processing emotions and softening the sadness that both coincide with physical separation. Like mindfulness meditation, I noticed that the act of savoring provided me with a clearer, calmer, more appreciative and accepting awareness that I have been able to apply to the obstacles I faced.

In other words: savoring and allowing ourselves to be fully immersed in the moment can act as an imprint for when we could really use the good vibes – like when, for example, sh!t hits the fan [read: 2020].

Sometimes the act of being in the moment can be really overwhelming, especially when we are truly savoring something or someone we adore, because our brains do this smart yet irritating thing where they put on armor and prepare for the worst [i.e. protecting ourselves from losing, or in case we lose, the good feeling and the thing that makes us feel good].

It is not uncommon in these moments to have thoughts like, “What if I lose this? Then I’ll be sad, which I don’t want, so I’ll be cautious in receiving this happiness and won’t let myself get too excited.” This unfortunately shoves our fears and joys into a closet, denying the fullest expression of ourselves.

When we stop and savor, however, we literally train our brain to express, feel, process, and receive emotions without putting up a wall to ignore them for fear of losing them. This, alongside learning how to rest in the present moment with a steady and tranquil awareness, are qualities we can access and cultivate whenever we are faced with challenges in the future.

Sometimes we can even savor being sad, or rather savor expressing our deepest emotions. I am learning more and more how hugely powerful it is to understand how to safely process our true feelings. It can be incredibly freeing to express these full range of emotions, to give them light and permission to exist, and to hopefully set them free – or to at least see them more clearly and be with them in a compassionate way.

When we can do our best to savor the undesirable moments and the desirable ones, we remind ourselves that it is 100% OK to feel how we feel – even if that feels challenging or uncomfortable. 

During a powerful Intuitive and Astrological Reading with the very lovely Deann, she encouraged me to stop trying to make people feel comfortable by masking my own uncomfortable feelings, and also to savor the whole healing process – whether pleasant or unpleasant. She reminded me that it’s not wrong if things get messy, each path is unique, nothing is permanent, and we have autonomy over our lives.

Not faking how we feel doesn’t necessarily mean it is wise to take out rage on another or let sorrow transform into consistent negativity, but it also doesn’t mean hiding from emotions or pretending like everything is sunshine and rainbows. When we stop savoring the people and experiences that light us up, we can more easily dismiss our feelings and slip into a state of prolonged despair – making it more likely to deny ourselves pleasure and cover up how we honestly feel via bouts of anger, misery, avoidance, or pretend positivity.

Louise Hay says that, in order to clean the house, you first have to see the dirt. I am learning how to savor the act of cleaning it all up, and also letting it get dirty again if and when necessary [which, as we all know by now, is often out of our control].

Feeling is truly healing, whether we are processing stuck emotions [per the dirt], or basking in the glow of our joy – just like a flower receives life from the light of the sun.

Even when we can savor the smallest moments à la practicing gratitude – whatever the weather of our life at present – we will cultivate a greater capacity to embody these desirable sensations more naturally, plus a steadier resiliency and acceptance in the face of the undesirable circumstances to boot.

Some inquiries to consider as you explore your savoring practice:

• What or who brings you such immense joy that you’d like to be more aware of savoring the moment the next time you experience it / are with them?
• What does savoring mean to you? For me, it means allowing all of my senses to experience fully, without restrictions or constraints, without worrying about past or present or future; being fully absorbed in / aware of the moment and all the sensations and emotions that come along with it.
• How does savoring feel for you? For example: lightness in the chest, warmth in the heart, softness in the belly; happiness, joy, contentment, brightness; like I’m floating and grounded simultaneously, held in a space of unconditional love, calm and clear, trusting and fluid with the moment.

And finally, if it’s helpful in cultivating your own savoring practice, here are few things that I’ve stopped to savor as Paris continues to transition from long term confinement to [re]connecting vis-a-vis:

• Taking time off social media a few months ago, which by default helps to savor the present moment.
• The chirping birds in the cobblestone courtyard my windows face, however noisy they may be.
• A feast of flowers blooming all across city parks and gardens this past spring.
• Riding my bike, Lucia, admiring the outdoor museum that is Paris.
• Watching the terrasses fill back up with clanking silverware, espresso cups, wine glasses, solo readers, and reuniting friends. Nothing beats a Parisian terrasse.
• Playing ukulele, including 4 songs I wrote with encouragement from my teacher Katie. They are amateur as can be, but music is a highly cathartic form of art from the heart, and I’m proud.
• Pre-meditation bulletproof-ish morning matcha with homemade ghee and coconut oil, sipped slowly in front of my altar in silence as I check in with myself.
• A fresh batch of said homemade ghee. It really is a gift.
• An amazing visit to Ischia, an island off the coast of Naples in Italy. What an honor to explore and learn from the world. Italians certainly know how to savor life.
• A newfound love for an adorable local spot, Amendūla Café. The owner Louisa offers organic, vegetarian, Sicilian-inspired delights, and it’s a sweet connection to my Italian roots. The almond cake is everything.
• The pure gratification that is a papaya, and learning how to enjoy the seeds!
• Receiving mind-body healing work from a lovely ostéo who a friend recommended to me, mademoiselle Juliette Garoscio.
• “The Overstory” by Richard Powers – truly blew my mind, reconnected me to nature through beautiful words and storylines, tested my patience and vocabulary, and filled me up.
• A true gem of a series, Ted Lasso on Apple TV. Uplifting, clever, and an absolute joy to watch.
• EMDR and talk therapy, unraveling me in a way that will allow me to weave myself back together into an even brighter, more resilient fabric [as the magnificent Genny Kapuler would reference].

Read the newsletter for a pomegranate pistachio porridge, upcoming virtual and in-person classes [plus a retreat!] with me, supportive guided meditations to help you savor, mindful living tools, and good vibes.

Contact me for support in cultivating your own physical and mental health mindfulness tools.

What or who is bringing light into your life right now that you might savor more of?

Photo: Castello Aragonese, Ischia, Italy / June 2021.