take care [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][but take it easy]
Your true nature is not lost in moments of delusion, nor is it gained at the moment of enlightenment. It was never born and can never die… It is without time and space, and has no passions, actions, ignorance or knowledge. In it there are no things, no people, and no Buddhas… it depends on nothing and is attached to nothing. It is all-pervading, radiant beauty: absolute reality, self existent and uncreated… it is a jewel beyond all price.
-Zen Master Huang Po
I would say I am one of the many Brooklyn farmers market junkies who is kind of addicted to wellness, about 85% of the time anyway [15% is on a quest for the freshest pizza and biscuits in NYC].
This is not necessarily an unfortunate trait, until it winds up becoming an all-consuming restriction that impersonates the stuff a wellness-centric lifestyle relieves, like strict diets or under/over-exercising.
I sometimes think of it like taking care of a car: those of us that are in the wellness field can fairly easily polish the exterior of the vehicle by going to yoga, drinking green juice, and eating a plant-based diet, but are we really cleaning up the inside? Are we looking at the stuff we would rather avoid, like a rusty part in the form of a potential addiction or a type-A self-care obsession?
Taking care of ourselves is an incredible, imperative practice, until it leads to judging ourselves if we do otherwise. If we commit to eating vegan for the week and are then presented with the opportunity to get pizza with friends, do we forego a fun experience for the sake of veganism, or do beat ourselves up for breaking our intention if we go?
At last weekend’s goddess brunch we discussed the ways in which us wellness industry enthusiasts can wind up getting so stoked about all of this, we forget to let ourselves chill out and lighten up around it all. It is not a diet, it is not a cure-all, and it is not about extremism on either end of the spectrum.
Like Yoga, the whole point is balancing effort and ease, strength and softness. Yes, it is a positive and necessary component of life to care for ourselves in ways that benefit our bodies and minds, but it is another story if we let it get the best of us by letting judgement and rigidity seep in.
Most of us probably know someone who is addicted to cigarettes or dieting or exercise or coffee, and being addicted to wellness is not much different. It can be an obsessive behavior toward perfectionism, just like accepting nothing less than straight A’s in school.
What we can often fail to realize is that healing doesn’t happen solely through the feel-good stuff. Much of the awakening arises through coming vis-a-vis with the stuff we push away. Those moments are the true growth opportunities, like when the engine of a car shuts down – we can’t ignore it, so we get a little messy in order to learn how to fix it up and make it run like new again.
This can happen over and over again, because wellness and healing are not races or contests. One day we may hit big and the next we might sink to the bottom – this does not mean we win or lose.
In the quote above, Huang Po reminds us that our true nature is not “gained at the moment of enlightenment,” but is rather “all-pervading, radiant beauty.” We do not need to kick ourselves for missing a day of meditation or for eating a big fluffy biscuit smothered in butter [yes, I have judged myself for both].
I realize this is easier said than done, since addiction varies based on personality and unique individual experience. I do believe that the more we are able to soften our attitude around any compulsion we face, whether it’s video games or religion or salad, the less judgement we will pass on others.
Our zen-Self we experience after a yoga class is a small piece of our complex, radiant puzzle. When we are able to look at the interior of our vehicle without ignoring what we would prefer not to see, even if the engine is broken and it feels scary or uncomfortable, the deeper the healing will happen on all levels.
Similarly, when we lighten up on our obsession to heal, we will stop expecting others to do the same work we’re doing, and we will lighten our own workload as a result.
We are a continual work in progress. Forcing a ninja grip onto wellness and healing will not make the work any faster and will not make us a better person, just like practicing a more “advanced” yoga posture will not make us a more respected yogi.
What will make us feel better is to loosen the grip, and to continue to take care without so much expectation involved. Meditation or a bowl of vegetables for lunch are not a boxes to be checked off on a to-do list of self-improvements, they are simply practices we can choose to apply without pushing it on ourselves as a means to a healthy end. They are good for us until we let them take the reigns.
Keep it real, be your Self, remember that taking care of your Self involves eating cake with friends when you want to just as much as going to yoga, or fully experiencing sadness, or watching your breath.
What practices do you sometimes give a little too much power, and where can you lighten up a bit to experience your fullest Self?
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Photo by Renee Choi, wearing Hyde at Lucent Yoga.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
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