you are what you think

…When we hold on to our opinions with aggression, no matter how valid our cause, we are simply adding more aggression to the planet, and violence and pain increase. Cultivating nonaggression is cultivating peace. The way to stop the war is to stop hating the enemy. It starts with seeing our opinions of ourselves and of others as simply our take on reality and not making them a reason to increase the negativity on the planet.

-Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

Do you have thoughts that plague your brainwaves, or looming and recurring experiences that float around in your head for no legitimately valid reason, other than being emotionally hooked to them?

My youngest brother had an obsession with donuts in our early years, particularly the top frosted portion with sprinkles, and I remember my parents warning him that if he ate too many he would in fact turn into a donut himself. Similarly, our internal intangible obsessions manifest into our physical form.

For example: stress. The seed is planted when we begin thinking things like what we “should” eat to look a certain way, thinking it is the way we “should” look, then thinking how annoyed we are at ourselves for eating a delicious cookie because that definitely means we backtracked on the path of eating and looking the way we think we need to eat and look.

Before we know it we’ve stressed ourselves out so much our bodies respond through dis-eases like high blood pressure, gut issues or hormone imbalances. Our bodies and minds are so powerfully connected that our thoughts become our reality in various ways, shapes and forms.

And so, from the aforementioned example, we can become what we think: not good enough to be the way we think we should be in our mind, body and spirit.

Do you think I would be able to get myself into that handstand-backbend situation in the photo above if I kept thinking I couldn’t do it? It may have taken years of practice, but we are only incapable if we think we are incapable.

A question I often ask myself in the midst of tricky thought-patterns: is it worth it in this lifetime to keep my thoughts stuck here and feel like continual crap about it? What is the point of telling myself and joking with others that I am a disaster when my actual desire in this life is to be happy, feel awesome, and spread the health?

My sweet friend Ksenia of Breakfast Criminals recently caught me apologizing profusely for being late to an event, even though I knew it wasn’t an issue, and encouraged me to swap it for something like thank you for your patience.

It is amazing how many times since then I’ve had to catch myself from telling someone I was sorry when it wasn’t necessary [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][accidentally bumping into someone on the train can be pardon me instead of I’m so sorry!], and I realized how this type of thought pattern keeps us in perpetual guilt mode.

It is a different use of energy to empathize with someone when they aren’t feeling good versus apologizing because we intentionally offended or hurt someone.

By continually apologizing for ourselves and our behaviors when it is not needed, we keep ourselves in a thick, foggy thought pattern of undermining ourselves and our actions instead of owning up to it and “living in our truth,” for lack of less-new-age-y words.

In lieu of riding an ongoing wave of stress and self-resentment, we have a choice to catch our thoughts and change directions when they start to automatically turn toward negativity-town. We can watch our knee-jerk reactions and begin paddling out of the groove until we shift our thoughts, which often leads to a positive shift in how we choose to live.

The Yoga Sutras tell us that there are 2 types of thoughts: they are either painful or painless. Simply stated, yet sometimes tough to put to use.

Are you thinking thoughts that make you struggle through your day, which are probably based on your own perception and not what the Sutras call “right knowledge”? Or are your thoughts calmly linked to the moment, the breath, your Self as you are today instead of what you think you are or should be?

Either way, I invite you to experiment with the following to tune in to the truth and step out of destructive thought-ruts:

• When your mind goes elsewhere, slip back into the present by noticing where you are and what you’re doing. For example: I am breathing in, I am walking down the street, I see a tree. Stay in the non-objective now.
• Remember it is OK to feel stuck and annoyed at the world, so long as you recognize your thoughts and their affect on you, and that it will all eventually pass. Nothing is permanent, unless we allow it to be.
• Give yourself the authority to choose what you want, and how you want to feel, and own it. Go forth and think the thoughts that make you feel how you want to feel, which will lead you to do the things you want to do.
• When you find yourself wishing someone else would think different thoughts, rein it in and re-focus the lens on your own brain. By saving this energy for our Selves, we give others permission to practice the same self-acceptance and awareness we are cultivating on our own. These vibes keep on keepin’ on, which is an amazing gift to share with others, whether we know them or not.

What helps you think happy thoughts when your default complaints kick in? What is one thought you can start paying more attention to right now?

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*Photo by Renee Choi with Caroline Smith in Brooklyn, wearing Hyde organic apparel.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]