Do not plague your heart with falsehoods and expectations of some disembodied perfectionism! The perfection of your heart is that it loves still, even if you try to stop it with some notion of self-protection from future hurt through doubt or fear – still it loves. It is perfection that it hopes even after despair, that it holds compassion even after experiences of fear. So then, what is there left to do but breathe the grandest sigh of relief and allow yourself the essential luxury of peace within?
Alana Fairchild, “The Human Gift”
I am sure many of us can relate, especially us hyperactive New Yorkers, with feeling overly responsible for every aspect of our lives in relation to our happiness, or in accordance with achieving our goals.
We all have varying perceptions of what “normal” work hours are and some of us might feel the need to exceed that norm; we might feel a heightened sense of responsibility for our Selves, children, pets, students, clients, family members or friends.
Although it can seem empowering in the moment to be in control, like anything excessive it can often result in exciting outcomes such as stress, guilt, lack of sleep, or extreme disappointment.
There is a fine line of paradoxes here, because it can be invigorating to grow wiser with age and feel responsible for things; to have more control over the direction in which we want our lives to go.
It is also unnerving and confusing, like learning how to navigate bank statements and health care bills, which often make me feel cross-eyed and puzzled.
There is an interesting balance between working things out on our own, seeking guidance, or simply letting it be and moving on – all of which can exhibit a practice of being responsible. And whether easily or undesirably, the universe will cleverly remind us when we are out of whack.
If we tend to overwork ourselves, for example, we might eventually get sick, or something big might shift our lives around, forcing us by default to take a step back.
If we lean toward wishing others would take responsibility for us, we might eventually find ourselves alone, having to make up our damn minds on our own.
If we grip and strain our brains between taking or giving too much responsibility, we might find ourselves with no choice but to let go of the reigns and get some guidance or assistance.
What those of us Type A folks might benefit from is realizing that sometimes the responsible thing is to leave things in the hands of the universe and ask for help. This is human, and does not make us an irresponsible person to receive help from others, or ask our angels/God/Mother Nature/Buddha to hold it for us for a little while until it works out one way or another.
And really, what is the worst that can happen if we ask for help?
Here are a 7 practices we can all consider when that sense of over-achieving responsibility begins to flood our brains and spike our stress levels:
- Be responsible for yourself in ways that benefit your life and make you unconditionally happy. Meaning no matter the outcome, you are content with the actions you take.
- Notice what comes up for you, or ask yourself why, when you begin to tighten your grip on a situation or outcome. What is the emotion, or more importantly how does it feel in your mind and your body? Is it associated to an emotion attached to a desired outcome?
- Pay attention to and acknowledge what you are afraid of. Fears crave our attention. What are you afraid of in terms of not achieving something and why? It is natural to cling to things, and it is also not a problem to work with your fears.
- If you tend to blame, watch what happens when you take responsibility instead, even if it means having to look at an uncomfortable part of yourself.
- If you tend to take responsibility for every single aspect of your life, watch what happens when you ask your angels, the universe, a friend or therapist [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][someone or something other than yourself] for assistance and support.
- Set boundaries between taking responsibility for your own wellbeing versus another’s. Release the practices that do not benefit you by being overly responsible for you or someone else’s whole body health.
- Trust that the universe is responsible and attentive, for you and others.
What do you do to take responsibility for your actions, and relieve yourself of the responsibilities that are holding you back from peace?
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