Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.
Osho
Politics in the media have never really interested me. I have a bit of an aversion to things that feel tense or dramatic to me, or that seem as though they stem from fear and competition. As such, I respectfully bowed out of paying close attention up until the 2008 election.
A few months ago on a flight to California, I watched one of our Presidential nominees on the Today show with family by their side and found myself silently lashing out the same hateful, combative comments I claim to happily unidentify with.
Thanks to yoga, I have learned what it means to literally check yourself before you wreck yourself, so I shut down the peanut gallery comments and experimented with watching the remainder of the interview with a more open mind.
The result was interesting: instead of frustration and panic, I felt compassion in the form of hope. I hoped for the most beneficial outcome not only for our country, but for the nominee and supporters I strongly disagreed with. I noticed we were all passionate about things like the wellbeing of our nation, even though we might express that passion very differently.
I hoped that we could all return to the sense of peace we are born with; that we might act from a place of clear, wholehearted discernment instead of unclear influence and ego, whatever the circumstances.
This does not mean checking out and being completely passive, shunning the need vote, letting the world do whatever it wants to do, and saying goodbye and good riddance. It does mean taking responsibility for our thoughts and desires, and how that dictates our re/actions. Watching that interview without letting the devil on my shoulder spit expletives at the screen actually made me a better listener; it helped me put my thoughts together on my personal stance, values and goals.
The practice of listening with a less biased perception made me recognize similarities like the resilience for what we believe to be true, even if I was not privy to what the other person believed in. In a weird way, I found commonalities in our differences, much like discovering a shared trait in a person we might not get along with, and it felt so much better than ranting about it all.
It was no easy task to hold my silent tongue from making crass remarks, but I realized that kind of reaction was the very thing I prided myself in avoiding, the thing we all fuel when we participate in it.
The recent debate posed another challenge for all of us, with accusations flying from both sides and each nominee doing their best to hold their own. Although this time around I did not hold back in letting the Television know how I felt about a certain someone, I did catch myself later and recognized my contribution in the fiery furnace of division, hate, fear, confusion, and competition.
I threw harsh words into the energy field in which we all live and breathe, instead of focusing on the compassion I more genuinely hope for, for all of humanity. I had a human moment and became tangled in the web of sticky uncertainty, as we all sometimes do during moments of passionate agreement or disagreement, and lost myself in the “Race for the White House.”
To me, to hold one’s own in agreement or disagreement means to act in a way that translates our personal deepest values and desires. It means saying thanks to the ego for keeping us alert and unique, and politely asking it to step aside so that we may give ourselves permission to act in accordance with how we truly feel in our hearts.
Agreeing to disagree in a mindful manner means not glorifying our or someone else’s ego by taking the bait, and instead sticking true to our [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][non-violent] guns, even if it is a less popular approach or opinion.
To connect to whatever heartfelt sentiments inspire me to hold my own, I continually ask myself “why?” If, for example, we were to argue that our hatred for a certain nominee is how we truly feel in our hearts, I would counter that with asking “why?” over and over again.
Let’s try: Why do I have strong feelings of dislike toward one of the Presidential nominees? Because I cannot relate to their violent nature, from statements to reactions to asking or answering questions. Why does that matter? Because I want someone to lead the country who genuinely loves and respects others and represents equality; someone who has a realistic approach to problem solving, a firm yet peaceful stance on issues, and an intelligent, composed means of communication.
Why is all of that a big deal to me? Because I think we will all be better off that way. Why do I want us all to be “better off?” BECAUSE I WANT WORLD PEACE OK?!
What we hope for and wish upon ourselves, we reflect onto others. If we are identifying with our egos and are afraid or anxious, we will relate to others who live life based on unease and suspicion, and will unconsciously feed that energy within ourselves and each other.
If we recognize our collective, sometimes subconscious desire for harmony and act in a way that represents that, we might start to listen better, act more mindfully, and react less. I am not suggesting we hold hands and sing kumbaya around a campfire, but coming from a place of communal understanding in place of bitter separation does offer a way for all of us to lighten the load and soften the edges, if anything at least within our own experience.
As I mentioned before, during this process of choosing to gain more political knowledge, I realized that I am not unlike the animated folks in government in the sense that I, too, am deeply passionate about the wellbeing of others and our planet. One might argue that all politicians care about is power [ego, money, etc], and their concerns are obviously displayed in very different ways than I choose to act, but deep down we all just want to feel good.
I invite you to consider what it would mean to considerately agree to disagree without judgement or combat; to relinquish our need to control others and first check in with ourselves and our immediate surroundings.
I encourage all of us to keep asking why in order to hold our own by being truthful and connected to our desires, and by clearly living in accordance with that.
Haters gonna hate, debaters gonna debate, I know many of us just wanna shake it off by word vomiting on each other on social media until one of us is proven “right.” Hold your own; agree to disagree. All is well.
What values do you identify with or against, and how can you use that to hold your own in a way that reflects how you truly feel, whether you agree or disagree with someone else?
Read the newsletter for a clean ice cream recipe [I think we can all agree that healthy food does not have to suck], Breakti workshops in NY and California!, my Costa Rica retreat in February!, good music and more.
Photo: Renee Choi.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
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