inward and onward
If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?
Rumi
It has been a year.
Whatever side we are on, whatever happens in our personal world or however we respond to what is going on around us, it might be challenging to recognize that our eternal Selves remain the same. I am talking about the place within us we were born with, that which is the essence of who we are, unfazed by and unattached to the material world, existing amongst it all.
Although not particularly easily identifiable, this easeful place within is with us as we move from moment to moment, from love to heartache, from triumph to defeat, from high to low and vice versa. Sometimes referred to as Atman in yogic philosophy, it rests as a peaceful witness in our physical bodies, whether we are in fact rested or fatigued.
Many of us might have recently begun “doing the work” of looking inward this year through activities like yoga and meditation, mindfulness practices like cooking clean meals, or paying more attention to how our actions affect the environment and our relationships with each other.
If you are anything like me, you may have also had moments of “WHY AM I DOING THIS;” you might have felt exhausted by the continual roundabout practice of self-work, self-inquiry, self-love, and whatever practice you try to fine-tune.
In case you have yet to notice – as I often have to remind myself – there is no end, and there is no perfecting this work. It is not necessarily about reaching a finish line of enlightenment or winning a gold medal for self-study. It is about coming back, returning to our Selves and the moment over and over again, on repeat.
We might think we have reached a higher place when some sort of disruption brings us right back down to earth. I expressed my frustration with this recently during a visit to my acupuncturist Dr Giacona, who advised that self-inquiry does not have be so tiring.
Instead of aggravating, Joseph suggested that self-work journeys could be like an ongoing science experiment. We can do the best we can to get excited about and intrigued by our discoveries, rather than overwhelmed or discouraged by that which does not meet our expectations.
The same way that we might finish paying off a bill only to be mailed another one, we are never completely done with the practice of looking within and resting in ourselves as we are. We might feel settled in our home and then something breaks, or get comfy in our job only to find our inbox suddenly overflowing with deadlines.
This is the human experience; our “WHY” can be because these practices help us learn how to choose not to battle the things that make us feel uneasy, and remind us how to live with our discomforts as harmoniously as possible.
We have probably all experienced something in the past couple of months along the lines of heightened disagreements, hacks and security breaches, destruction and disappointment. And yet, within it all has also probably existed joy, surprise, love, gratitude, fulfillment, and more.
When Oprah asked Michelle Obama if she thought her husband achieved what he had hoped for during his terms, the first lady responded by saying he gave us something to believe in during distressing times: “I feel Barack has been that for the nation in ways that people will come to appreciate. Having a grown-up in the White House who can say to you in times of crisis and turmoil, ‘Hey, it’s going to be okay. Let’s remember the good things that we have.'”
In a popular time of introspection and reflection, I invite us all to keep wiping clean the greasy streaks on our internal mirrors; to keep going when someone or something smears it again.
We can stand our ground even when we feel unstable – the universe will catch us, but we must not be swayed when it throws us a monkey wrench and drops us flat on our faces.
Our internal selves exist amongst calm waters and storms alike. As long as we keep coming back to this place, we can keep learning how to navigate the waves.
Read the newsletter for the goddess brunch healthy holiday e-book, my matcha coconut yogurt cheesecake, discounts, tunes and more, and enjoy the holiday season!
Photo by Renee Choi in NYC with retreat co-host Giulia Pline, wearing Hyde organic cotton yoga apparel.
There will come a time when you believe everything is finished; that will be the beginning.
Louis L’Amour
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