resolutions be darned
The most important thing you will ever need to remember is NOT to fight things. Don’t fight your addictions, your self-deprecation, or anything. In order to stay on top of any and all your New Year’s resolutions, don’t fight it. If you want to change something, bring in something new and better to replace it. The new sprout naturally and innocently lets the old skin fall off even as it shoots up to become what it is. How do you stay on top of this? How do you maintain equanimity? To keep your core energies at their optimal, heed food and sleep, and then you can’t make any errors in your actions.
Vaidya Mishra
I ended 2017 on an incredible high, literally: elevation at Machu Picchu is 7,972 feet above sea level, and the neighboring town of Cusco is 11,152 feet. So yes, I was in reality feeling pretty elated about the absolute thrill of being alive and on this earth.
As the countdown began for 2018, I was struggling to fall asleep on a plane, making my way back to an ice-cold Brooklyn. The pilot said sweetly, “Happy New Year, folks!” in a brief announcement, and I went back to my unsuccessful attempts at finding a comfortable snoozing position throughout the remainder of the flight.
I entered back into the states with a jet lag hangover and a list of 2018 intentions I had scribbled on a tiny square of scrap paper during the first hour of that flight. I opened up Instagram to a slew of posts about very clear words for the year, meaningful resolutions, lessons learned in 2017, positive outlooks for 2018, and how people magically rang in the New Year.
Although I had just returned from a wonderful Christmas in California and an incredible visit to Peru, I immediately frowned at myself for being ill-prepared in my intention-setting, and therefore would probably have a less-than-enthusiastic start to the year. I was cranky from lack-of-sleep and annoyed at myself for not having made the time to accurately reflect on 2017, or what I hoped to instill for 2018.
Even during this destructive thought process, I realized how I could easily dig myself into these holes of comparing myself to others, especially in the wellness industry in NYC. I saw how I could put myself in an unnecessary prison-like position of what I “should” or “should not” be doing in order to achieve my goals – and I was frustrated that, at the moment, it was challenging for me to focus on goals in the first place. Maybe I can blame the altitude…
Not to say I was at all ungrateful for the incredible experience I had in Peru – it was deeply moving on emotional, spiritual, and intellectual levels. The rich culture kept me curious and inspired; the people’s connection to and respect for its gorgeous and diverse natural surroundings lifted my spirits; Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley brought me to tears; the people themselves through their kind smiles and eagerness to please warmed my wintery heart.
Then like a woven Peruvian rug pulled from under my explorer-happy feet, all of a sudden it was resolution time, and my mind drew a blank.
I did my best to remind myself over these last two days that everyone operates at their own speed, in their own time. Just because I did not have exact personal intentions or insight to share with others for the new year; even though I was not surrounded by crystals or candles or champaign at the stroke of midnight does not mean I will not achieve anything, or that I will not feel the way I want to feel in the upcoming year.
I am constantly working on honoring the path I am on, whether or not my New Year’s Day was a sparkling kick-start into the year. I remind myself often to recognize that every day is an opportunity to continue on my unique journey.
That being said, it does make it a bit more clear to have a word or a few words to redirect our attention when things go astray. It is powerful to have intentions to ignite the flame within us, to support us in moving forward in line with our values and desires.
As I thought about it more throughout the last couple of days, closed my eyes and envisioned how I wanted this year to pan out, the word FREEDOM presented itself to me. Freedom from the shackles of “should,” of finances and food, of the limitations I create around being enough [smart enough, good enough, strong enough, likable enough, not enough time], of what I “need” to be doing or not doing.
From FREEDOM came TRUTH to keep cleaning out the cobwebs of false perceptions, and then PRIORITIES to align myself with what it is I want and sweep out the stuff/tasks/etc that act as a proverbial blockade to my desires.
Sometimes when our intentions are to get rid of something, however, we get a little anxious about the arduous task of achieving that goal. If we start off trying too hard to push out undesirable habits, or even pressure ourselves to come up with purposeful New Year’s resolutions, we may wind up quitting before we even really begin. If we tell ourselves sternly: “no more sugar,” do we not immediately crave a pile of sweets?
I love what my mentor Divya Alter’s teacher, Ayurvedic leader Vaidya Mishra, said about staying away from the things we want to remove from our lives:
“Staying away through sheer willpower is a proven formula for failure… Why do we hold on to harmful habits in the first place? On some level, they address a want, a need. So what’s the best way of not becoming the slave to your needs? To your desires? Is eliminating desires the answer? That would be fighting against your own nature – we all desire greater bliss and balance. It is not desire that is wrong! It is desiring the wrong things… How do you desire what is right for you? How do you “desire what you deserve”?”
He continues to share how we get can clear on our desires with a Yoga Sutra:
“Three sub-pillars of life support healthy happiness and longevity: food, sleep, and proper action. And in that order: first proper food (ahar) in a timely manner, and then sufficient timely sleep (7-8 hours a night), and this will support ALL your actions, actions that are worthy of powerful Brahma consciousness, rooted in peace, life-supporting and evolutionary, bringing you balance and bliss. You’d be surprised to see how – when you are well fed and well rested – your mind operates optimally in sync with your heart and you can be the boss of your own life!”
As we approach this new year, I encourage us all to free ourselves from whatever it is that is holding us back from being our most nourished and optimal Selves – imperfections and mistakes included – and to be softer on ourselves when things might not go exactly as we planned.
Reach out to me or find a friend/group for mutual support throughout this process. Enjoy the simple miracles that happen every day in front of our own eyeballs – we do not have to be on Machu Picchu to witness greatness.
Do you have any intentions for the upcoming year, and how can you free yourself from the unnecessary burden of sticking with your resolutions?
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Main photo: Machu Picchu, December 2017.
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