resting in what is true
There is a spirit which is pure and which is beyond old age and death; and beyond hunger and thirst and sorrow. This is Atman, one’s Spirit. All desires of this Spirit are Truth. It is this Spirit that we must find and know.
Chandogya Upanishad
Do you ever listen to or watch something that ignites a spark within you – even if that spark is confusion or skepticism – and so as soon as it ends you intend to re-experience it ASAP? This past week I was deeply inspired by Tara Brach‘s recent talk on taking refuge, even though I had to listen to it twice for it to really click.
When Tara mentioned that in today’s world we tend to retreat into false refuge, I did not quite get it. What does that even mean, to retreat into a false perception of judgement, blame, or anger?
When I considered this esoteric concept the second time around, I started to see how we can easily hide behind a veil of judging others in lieu of taking responsibility to look within ourselves. It is much more painless to critique another’s actions rather than feel and look inside of our own hearts – as this is not always comfortable – and be truthful with our Selves first and foremost.
We can easily spend a lot of time chasing happiness and resisting unpleasantness by projecting our anger or sadness or discomfort on someone or something else instead of dealing with it, and in turn we fail to recognize that whatever truth arises belongs there in that moment.
Tara shared that we have a deep conditioning to leave when we feel uncomfortable. Instead of taking cover under false refuge we can learn to ask ourselves what we are willing to feel in order to keep evolving our relationship with life – because we all know that life does not always cooperate.
In this talk, Tara introduced Buddhism’s Three Jewels, or refuges, and what they might relate to in modern-day times:
1. Truth / Dharma | This can be meditation, contemplation, learning something new, or simply paying attention to the path right here, right now. When the blinders are removed and the stubbornness of our perception dissolves – what is, in actuality, true? What is true to you, and what is true in general? Stepping away from our habits of false refuge into complete truth can feel really sticky – trust me, I tried, and it hurts [see anecdote below]. After the hurt though, I found that the relief is enormous – like the weight of resisting my Self and my troubles alongside the stress of blaming someone else had been lifted. There is a beautiful freedom in recognizing truth, even if it feels challenging at first.
2. Love / Sangha | Tara said in her talk that community is a way to see our shared vulnerability and goodness, and acts as a gateway from the head to the heart simply by belonging together. This can translate as taking group classes, or coming together for a meal as friends or family. Joining forces with love as the underlying component is just as nourishing as eating a whole-foods, plant-based diet. It is where and how we learn and grow as individuals and a community, it is how we help each other wake up, and it is extremely fulfilling. It also takes the attention off of our false refuge and shifts it into something more productive/worthwhile.
3. Awareness / Buddha | This is the sensation of coming back home. Have you ever been in the presence of someone that just makes you feel completely seen, loved, and at ease/at home just as you are? Tara described this refuge as someone who is awake, or the concept of stillness and space unobscured by stories or ego. Whether or not it is a holy person or group or place – this is where and when we experience the unconditional love we are all made of and capable of. When we can tap into this energy – even though it might feel outside of our Selves – we might recognize the shared humanity and light within each and every one of us.
Tara mentioned that to take refuge in Truth is to “rest the heart in what is true.” As mindful as I try to be, when I listened to my second round of this talk, I almost laughed at that ideal idea.
I was feeling particularly down about something at the moment, so in my suspicion I thought I would try sitting with the truth of my discomfort and seeing if I could in fact feel “restful.” To my surprise, after a few breaths with eyes closed and a furrowed brow – sitting with this junky feeling – there was a brief pause when everything just settled. It was as though the protective armor around my skin softened, even if it was for a short moment, and it was an enormous relief.
I truly believe this is what meditation is, or the practice of mindfulness in general – to keep practicing with the knowledge that these moments are available.
These pauses of softness are – dare I say – within us at all times, if we choose to sit quietly and patiently enough to listen, and if we allow ourselves to experience the full spectrum of emotions [keyword: patiently].
Taking refuge in the heart is the understanding that we all derive from love, that with truth and community and faith we have the support we need to achieve these moments of ease amidst the chaos of our monkey minds and a buzzing material world; that despite whatever is going on in our lives or in our heads, there is light and lightness within us all. there is light and lightness within us all.
How do or can you come to seek refuge in truth, or notice the urge to slip into false refuge?
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Main photo by Grant Henry Media at Kula Yoga Project, NYC.
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