let them be
The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation.
Zig Ziglor
If you know me, you know I am currently teaching [and eating everything] in France, and my summer here has been no less than magical. I still can’t quite believe it is all real, from The Provence Experience week at the end of June to our stacked classes in Parisian parks to European adventures to new friends and everything in between. And of course the food. Always the food.
You may also know that this summer has encompassed an enormous range of emotions, especially after leaving such a challenging couple of months back in Brooklyn, not to mention the current prospect of returning to both the familiar and completely unknown. The anxiety crept in quickly and brutally. Although it helps soothe, no amount of meditation has been able to squash it.
I revealed in a recent Instagram post that despite the unbelievable time I’ve spent here, I have still experienced a wide and very real range of emotions. Sometimes I can guess where they come from, sometimes they come out of thin air – an uninvited yet persistent visitor.
Rumi reminds us: This being human is a guest house… / A joy, a depression, a meanness, / some momentary awareness comes / as an unexpected visitor. / Welcome and entertain them all! / Be grateful for whatever comes, / because each has been sent / as a guide from beyond.
These are the kinds of feelings that creep up when we really have space to let them exist, when we relinquish our busyness and to-do lists and let our Selves be, when we wander streets without an agenda and look up at the sky instead of down at our devices. The arrive in the spaces between and during our breath, they are insurmountably joyful and terrifically heartbreaking.
Tara Brach says that everything belongs; that we can say yes to whatever arises simply as an act of paying attention to how we feel in each moment. The same way we can learn information from reading a book or listening to a podcast, we can learn so much about ourselves by being aware of our thoughts and corresponding emotions.
Letting everything be and belong, however, and for lack of better words, can really suck. Just as it feels electrifying to feel incredible, it hurts to hurt. All of it is valid and is here for a reason, whether we know it at the time or not, and it all ebbs and flows with the waves of life.
How can we let the vast realm of emotions coexist without trying to push out or forcefully cultivate one or the other?
Here are a few things I have found helpful in my recent experience with this work, whether or not the feelings and emotions and sensations are magnifique or absolument horrible:
- Breathe gently in and out of the nose. Nostril breathing is calming to the nervous system.
- Notice what arises. Name it, assign it a color – whatever is helpful and suits you best.
- Say yes to, bow to, or just acknowledge it. Remember it is temporary.
- Have a conversation with it, or write things down before/after the experience.
- Locate it. Where does it live in the body in this moment? How does it feel in the body?
- Take a few breaths into whatever you are feeling and wherever you feel it.
- Watch it move in and out of the awareness. Do your best to let it be there without pushing it out or forcing in something else. If it hurts too much, bring your attention back to something in front of you that you can see or touch to keep you in the moment. You can always revisit it later when you feel safe.
- Consider what you learned from the experience and simply take note of it.
- Ask for support, help or guidance. Whether you call on a friend, family member, angels or the Universe – even if you feel lonely, you are not alone.
How do you allow your thoughts and sensations to arrive, notice them, and move onward? What helps you stay present amidst it all?
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Photo by Grant Henry Media.
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