know what you want + love what you got
How you feel is how you feel, what you think is what you think. Instead of stopping the flow of these thoughts and feelings, be with them, observe them, explore their origins. They are your teachers. All transformation starts with awareness.
Charlotte Kasl Ph.D, If The Buddha Dated
I share below a concept that I have been discussing via social media recently, something that has been on my mind this past year and a half of reconfiguring my inner and outer worlds.
This is not to say I have it all figured out. Quite the contrary, actually, but I can say with conviction that I am doing the work.
I both reluctantly and willingly allowed my heart to crack open enough to let the light in, in hopes of shining some light back at y’all as a result. This process has included a lot of trying my darnedest to hold the vision for what I want in the future while being supremely grateful for what I have in the present.
It hasn’t been easy. In fact it’s been a mess and also delicious. It’s knocked me down and built me back up. Through triumphs and trials it’s helped me get clear on what I do and don’t want, and has shown me that a lot of what I have now is what I once dreamed of having.
So yes, I am blessed beyond to be here in Paris, but am still also holding the vision to eventually [at least part-time] live closer to the source Herself – Mama Earth.
I landed in Paris on 20 February 2019, drained by emotional fragility and slightly dumbfounded by the new reality I created. A massive Oh sh!t moment [pardon my French].
Shortly after, my nature videographer brother Ian asked me to meet him in Iceland, and the energy of that country flooded my insides with an indescribable force. As it happens whenever I visit the mountains or the sea, I felt insignificant next to yet also completely part of that epic landscape.
I came back to my new home feeling both totally nourished by and also utterly heartbroken to leave the magnificent natural world behind. I wanted more time. Now I know I need more time.
When I first met my dear friend Ksenia, we talked about our conflicting desires to live in an electrifying city but also in the woods/on the beach – I had the itch to live in Europe then, too. Since that time I have parked in Paris, and she recently bought a woodland house in upstate NY.
One desire leads to another, one piece of gratitude leads to both more contentment and more motivation, and the cycle continues – trying to neither get complacent in the present nor anxious about the future.
So here we are, envisioning and doing our best to commit to the self-work that breaks us open and lifts us up, that teaches us to move forward with conviction but also offer it up and trust the fluidity of it all.
Vision board in your brain, journal and speak the desires, move through both joyful and challenging moments with more awareness, curate the life you want on social media and your living space and – most importantly – your heart space.
Hold the vision for the future and acknowledge that much of what you have now is what you dreamed of having in the past. Then let universe take the lead and give thanks for right now.
Anything is possible, as long as we believe it’s not impossible.
What are you envisioning for the future, and what are you grateful for right now based on what you envisioned for yourself in the past?
Read the newsletter for my baguette avo toast, new wellness workshop call on every Ayurveda, Wanderlust Germany (September 2019) and Costa Rica 2020, a special Ayurveda podcast with Dr. Teitelbaum, and more.
Photo: Grant Henry Media x harMonica Design.
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