loving kindness in confinement

may we be healthy + free from suffering

Until you can allow your own beauty, your own dignity, your own being, you cannot free another. So if I were giving one instruction, I would say: work on yourself; have compassion for yourself; allow yourself to be beautiful, and all the rest will follow.

Ram Dass

Tara Brach says that loving kindness is “embracing ourselves and all beings with a full and tender loving presence… we each have the capacity to awaken our hearts… to cultivate a deep quality of friendliness in relating to our inner life and each other.”

This is especially poignant during a time when we have no choice but to be at home and be with ourselves – whether we are alone or quarantined with another – and when we are all facing COVID-19 and confinement fears; when so many of our brothers and sisters are suffering around the world.

Now, if ever, is the time to look inward and recognize that we are all in a similar experience. We can all relate to the waves of emotions that ebb and flow throughout this global pandemic.

We all long to be heard, understood, and seen. Practicing Metta – or loving kindness – is a sweet and simple way to acknowledge ourselves and each other exactly as we are, and extend a feeling of friendliness toward all beings without expectations or conditions.

To bring Loving Kindness into your everyday life, try this simple yet powerful practice:

• Begin by guiding the attention to the body to the breath in the present moment. Breathe calmly in and out of the nose, slightly elongating the exhale.
• Scan the body from the floor upward – grounded in the seat, ungripped in the hips and legs, long and spacious in the spine and collarbone; releasing any tension in the shoulders neck and jaw, softening the skin of the eyebrows and forehead, arriving at the top of the head, connecting the centerline of the body from bottom to top.
• Return the attention to the breath over and over again, noticing the inhale and exhale as they flow with ease in and out of the nose. You might even notice where in the body you feel the breath moving in order to continue to land in the present moment; in this body; in this breath.
• Whenever you imagine or physically see someone – whether someone you know well or not at all; whether you enjoy their company or find them difficult to be around – practice extending wishes of lovingkindness to them. Remind yourself that this person – like all beings – wants to be happy and doesn’t want to suffer. In this way we continue to plant the seeds of loving wishes, no matter what arises in our own thoughts and emotions.
• Silently or verbally repeat traditional Metta phrases toward this person/these people – eventually even toward yourself – and adjust as needed to suit your vocabulary: May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be safe from inner and outer dangers. May you be well in body and mind. May you be at ease and happy.
• If ever you find yourself anxious or uncomfortable during this practice – not excluding during this time of confinement – or if and when the attention wanders to whatever you fear about the future or regret about the past, guiding the attention to the breath can be a simple tool to help centralize and return to the present moment.

Just as we receive the inhale without restraint, so too can we receive this same loving kindness from ourselves and others with an open, spacious heart.

And just as we naturally allow the exhale to freely release, so too can we offer wellbeing to others without relying on anyone to return the same sentiment, but simply because we genuinely wish them well – especially those in need during this pandemic.

It is important to be patient and kind toward yourself during this practice, allowing whatever arises to be held in a spirit of friendliness and kind affection.

For further confinement support, revisit my list of resources that have been tremendously helpful throughout the Paris lockdown, which I will continue to utilize in this lifetime in general.

Please take good care, take advantage of my virtual offerings, and let me know how I can continue to hold space for you from afar.

Read the newsletter for Zoom yoga classes, a delicious pizza tarte confinement concoction, a new meditation, good tunes and good vibes.

Onward.

Photo: Grant Henry Media / Brooklyn, NY.