perspective

shifting our vision
Have you ever gotten into an tiff with someone because of your varying perspectives? Yoga Sutra 4.15 says, “Due to differences in various minds, perception of even the same object may vary.” You know how it goes: you say toe-may-toe, I say toe-mah-toe. Let’s not call the whole thing off and instead find a clearer way to connect with each other by shifting our perspective. This is one of the reasons I love the physical practice of yoga – you experience literal varying perspectives by doing things like going upside down, or flying on your friend’s feet in acro yoga [see photo above].

No two people have exactly the same thoughts; even if you and I are on the same wavelength on a particular topic, my perspective will be quite different than yours. Our experiences make up the ways in which we come to view life; it’s our duty as conscious humans to be able to look past the solidity of our thoughts to be able to expand and accept someone else’s. If we close off to the way other’s perceive things, even if we don’t agree with it, it’s as though we’re living life in tunnel vision.

Similarly, nothing ever stays exactly the same. There is a constant ebb and flow in life – ever watch the shoreline? It’s constantly in flux, even when the water seems still. Our perceptions change daily based on our mood, the day, our personal experiences and how they affect us. The lenses in which I view life have done a 180 from just a few years ago before I moved to New York, and will continue to vary.

It can be incredibly refreshing to surrender to the fact that, as Thoreau so eloquently wrote in the quote above, it is our own personal choice to elevate life through conscious endeavor. We have the power to choose the ability to wear the rose-colored or tinted glasses. If we want to, we can modify our perception to connect on a more human level with someone of a different culture or religion; we can shift our perspective and create more space for possibility rather than struggling against what is.

We may find ourselves in arguments with each other because of varying stances on things like relationships, religion, the way in which something was said that was then perceived as something completely different. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – from my own perspective, these instances provide a lesson by showing us ways in which we can find space to connect on some level, however small.

How lucky are we to have different perspectives and see the world in a new light simply by having a conversation with someone, or standing next to a stranger or friend? The way in which we perceive life is highly influenced by others, which is a beautiful means of tuning into one another. So long as we recognize when someone else’s thoughts start to control our own, the ability to remain open to the views of others is such a powerful way of relating to one another.

Life in and of itself is always throwing us opportunities to alter the ways in which we perceive it. When life hands you lemons, you have the authority to make delicious lemonade or chuck them at someone who is pissing you off. To quote the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, “When life gives you lemons, I say f*ck the lemons and bail.” That’s his perspective.

If I experience a person doing or saying something I strongly disagree with, my ego’s perception immediately clings to what I feel to be the “better” way of doing or saying something. I eventually notice my knee-jerk reaction, pause, and take a moment to slightly shift my perception and find some common ground [and revert the pattern of driving myself bonkers because of someone else’s actions].

Here are five ways I have found helpful in shifting my perspective in order to soften the struggle in relating to others and loosen my grip on what I perceive to be right or wrong:

• Take a moment to recognize and honor your own knee-jerk reactions when something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable or angry – like you absolutely cannot understand why this is happening. These reactions are there for a reason [think survival mechanisms]. Then take a breath as you hold that emotion, perhaps notice where it stems from, and open yourself up to other ways of experiencing that instance.
• Surrender to not needing to know or understand everything and everyone. It’s liberating!
• Be OK with disagreeing. It doesn’t mean we have to struggle or fight to win to prove something.
• Remember we’re all made of the same stuff. Our perceptions are intangible excuses of identifying our own personalities and differentiating ourselves from others.
• Keep a sense of humor and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself for perceiving something totally different than what it actually is or was. We’re not perfect, thank Buddha/God/Mother Nature/etc.

How do you shift your perspective to find more ease and relate to others?

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