Back to Basics: Self-Caring in 4 Steps

Mindset Wellness

How many people have you heard from in January who have been in the thick of it, or maybe you’re the one who’s in it? If you were to ask yourself how you’re doing after the intensity of last month, what would be your absolute honest answer?

There’s no right or wrong response but sometimes it’s not so easy to be truthful with ourselves when we’ve been in survival mode and have had to to set emotions aside to get through it.

While there are profound ways of healing that go deep and result in lasting change, it can be equally as effective to start fresh, take a step back, and return to basic, foundational self-care.

Cozy feel-good self-care rituals are important, but it’s also imperative to shift a stuck mindset if you truly want to take care of your Self by moving past recurring obstacles.

For me personally, whether I’m taking care of my physical or mental wellbeing, I consider 4 points – both for myself and clients. They don’t necessarily have to be done in this exact order:

1. Check in with how you’re currently feeling. Be as honest as possible, even if it’s tough to acknowledge. If you don’t know, you can set an intention to uncover it.
2. Ask yourself how you desire to feel. Let go of logic. Connect with your desired state as if it’s already your reality throughout this process, especially in step 4.
3. Identify what might be getting in the way. One big block I’ve seen and experienced myself is mindset – often rooted in past experiences or conditioning. Clearing mental roadblocks makes other obstacles clearer and less rigid, too.
4. Consider small, attainable action steps. Choose steps that suit your lifestyle and feel sustainable, even if it requires discipline. This makes it easier to recenter if you veer off track.

This month we’ll go back to basics by taking care of our emotional and physical wellbeing – think of it as a Lunar New Year refresh, reboot, or rejuvenation.

From there we’ll feel clearer about how to move forward – whether you’ve had a bumpy start to the New Year or are just having an off day.

*My curated Amazon storefront has a variety of mind-body wellbeing products, books, and more (I receive a small commission).

Mindset Wellness

Let’s start with the Mind – as in mindset, mental health, feelings, emotions, whatever you want to call it.

Everyone’s circumstances are unique, so your answers will be unique to you – there’s no need to compare or base them on how you think you “should” feel. Comparison and should-ing ourselves are things I am unlearning – they suppress joy!

1. How is your mind / mindset currently feeling?

What are your current thoughts or beliefs about yourself and your life? How does it feel to think this way and have this type of mindset?

Identify the thoughts. Focus on any aspect of your life that feels particularly sticky – wherever this mindset makes you feel physically and mentally off-center, restricted, misaligned, or just really low.

For example: If you’re telling yourself on loop that life is always hard, you’re not good enough, or you’re unlucky, how does that affect your motivation, energy, or faith in desired outcomes?

2. How do you desire your mind / mindset to feel?

If there were no obstacles and anything were possible, how would you want to feel? What do you ultimately want to believe about yourself and your life?

This answer is often the opposite of your response to the previous question – even if it feels unrealistic and unattainable at first.

For example: If my mindset gets stuck in self-doubt, I desire to feel confident and trusting against all odds.

3. What’s getting in the way of this desired mindset?

What thought patterns, beliefs, or narratives prevent you from feeling how you desire to feel?

Return to question 1. How does your current headspace block you from achieving your desired mindset? What repetitive thoughts or beliefs reinforce actions or outcomes that don’t align with how you truly want to feel?

For example: If my mindset is stuck in self-doubt, I might resist taking small steps or risks that could build self-trust, improvement, joy, success, confidence, and more.

4. What steps can you take to arrive at this desired mindset?

What’s one simple thing you can do today – maybe even every day – that suits your lifestyle and moves you toward your desired mindset?

This might be setting a boundary with a person or situation that keeps you stuck. If you must be responsible for things that funk up your mindset, notice limiting beliefs as they pop up, acknowledge them, and spin them into your desired belief.

It could also mean taking on a task or challenge that nudges you toward growth, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Momentum and consistency help reinforce new mindsets, and also make you aware of your physical and mental capabilities.

Small action steps could be meditating, experimenting with affirmations, journaling (all of these questions are great prompts – or even just a gratitude list), working with a therapist or coach, taking a deep breath when you catch yourself spiraling, connecting with your childhood self if blocks stem from there, etc.

In my self-doubt example: A step could be committing to explaining anatomical or philosophical concepts in French for my weekly yoga students in Nice, even if I lack some vocabulary. Trusting that I can get my point across will build confidence despite my frequent mistakes 🙂

Having accountability helps, too – even if it’s just checking in with a friend.

Keep It Simple

Or as my friend’s Dad used to say: Keep It Light! If we’re going back to basics, it’s essential to keep things relatively simple so we don’t overdo Wellness or Healing.

True healing isn’t about doing 100 time-consuming self-care protocols every day to prove we’re worthy of health.

True healing comes from caring for ourselves enough to desire true transformation for the sake of our physical and mental wellbeing, not from desperately desiring to fix and perfect ourselves.

We’re all inherently worthy of mind-body health. If your response to that is like, “Yeah right girlfriend,” know that it has the potential to shift (Cc: Neuroplasticity).

This doesn’t mean we stop working toward our wellbeing, but we don’t have to push ourselves into a Self-Care Perfectionist Spiral to prove [to society, our boss, a parent, our partner, God, etc] that we deserve to feel good.

So do the simple things that make you feel good, and also do the simple things that get you out of a mindset funk – even if they take a little bit of effort.

Mindset Wellness Tools & Activities

For what it’s worth, here are a few simple things I’ve been doing that have guided my mindset onto smoother turf when I’ve felt mentally clunky and off:

Movement

• Walking. I’ve been aiming to walk more without an agenda, and try to notice what I think about. Being outside in general helps refocus my attention.
• Yoga, etc. All movement invites the mind into the present moment. I’ve been taking it pretty easy lately, but strong movement can get me out of my head, too.
• Yoga Inversions. Even the restorative ones calm the nervous system, shift perspective, and literally ground you by putting your head on the ground.

Mindfulness

• Sunrise. Walking straight into fresh air and morning light is a lovely way to begin the day. I know scientists and generations before us have been saying this forever!
• Activations App. It’s helped to reset my mind, reminds me to embody my desired feelings, and calms me down if my mind is buzzing.
• Meditation. Sometimes I go through the 4 steps during meditation, then visualize myself in my desired state and try to embody that feeling – à la Dr Joe Dispenza.
• Deep Breaths. Taken throughout the day, especially if my thoughts are spinning.

Food

• Baking. I’ve been experimenting a lot, meaning messing up a lot, and it’s been both fun and humbling. It reminds me that mistakes are part of the process, which is encouraging if my mind slips into perfectionism mode.
• Concocting. I’ve been revisiting my witchy NYC wellness days, which reminded me of my fixation with Wellness. Approaching mind-body wellbeing from a place of joy vs a need to fix myself is way more enjoyable and much more nourishing.
• Not fixating. My mindset used to be set on eating in a specific way in order to be healthy, and it took a while to lighten up. I try to catch myself if and when that tightness pops up, thank it for wanting to protect me, and eat anyway 😛

Podcasts

To reset stuck mindsets, learn, laugh, cry, and be entertained:

• David Ghiyam. He shares relatable spiritual insights that help put things into perspective. I really appreciate his practical, actionable tools, too.
• Dr. Chatterjee on Almost 30. This was such a good, encouraging, personal, relatable, and enlightening interview with accessible tips to boot.
• Spiritually Hungry. Michael and Monica Berg share inspiring conversations around ancient spiritual topics, including how to apply these concepts in everyday life / in the modern world.
• Human Design Podcast. This has been useful for me in terms of operating in potentially unconventional yet deeply meaningful and personalized ways.
• Elizabeth Gilbert on The Tim Ferriss Show. This was a very inspiring episode – especially in terms of mental health and how to actually actualize self-love.
• Jack Black on Armchair Expert. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed listening to his story and hearing about how he navigates life. Other heartfelt interviews were Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Bill Lawrence – a writer on Ted Lasso, and Kimberley Quinlan on anxiety and self-compassion.
• Steve Martin and Martin Short on Smartless. I laughed almost the whole way through this and got a lil choked up at the end. Laughter is mindset medicine.

What’s something – or someone – that helps bring your mindset back into balance?

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Take good care,

S

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