Effective everyday mindfulness tools despite an inconsistent meditation practice
Whenever someone asks me what my meditation practice looks like, the answer depends on the day, and sometimes that answer (or day) is: messy.
The undercurrent throughout my mindfulness journey—although also not always “structured”—has been the weaving of mindfulness into everyday life in ways that work for and / or are unique to me.
So even if I miss a classic seated meditation here and there, the tools I’ve learned from meditation continue to support me, and they’ve been invaluable.
That said, I recognize and appreciate the benefits of a more structured meditation practice—the kind that requires a commitment to stillness and silence even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. This type of discipline can be humbling, calming, clarifying, and incredibly empowering.
It’s all in the science, but I suggest you try it yourself for real proof 🙂
Sometimes I still get on myself for not having a super consistent practice lately, like when I woke up early every morning to meditate during Paris confinement part deux—very single, very cold, and fresh off an inspiring silent meditation retreat (two out of three of these circumstances I do not care to repeat, pls and thnx).
But eventually my circumstances shifted, and so did my practice. Even if certain areas of my life improved, I started judging myself for not being as diligent as I once was, which is absolutely besides the point of meditation. ‘Tis a no-judgement zone.
Over time, and with the help of mentors and teachers, I noticed that the more I practice meditation and mindfulness—however messy I feel—the more self-compassion I cultivate. The less I judge myself for being human. The more I honor where I’m at, even if it’s less “structured” than I think it “should” be.
This doesn’t mean that meditation won’t help us feel more grounded and refreshed—it can, and often does. But meditation has helped me realize that we’re not “wrong” if our meditation practice isn’t always necessarily “on track.”
This depends on the yardstick you’re using to measure yourself, too. As Dan Harris recently said, the words he uses to intercept his own destructive, judgemental thoughts and negative self-talk are Wrong Yardstick.
And if mindful moments are more naturally recurring in my everyday life in ways that are hugely beneficial to both my physical and mental health, then my recovering-perfectionist yardstick calls that a win.
For what it’s worth, I offer a few mindfulness practices I’ve learned over the years that have positively impacted both my headspace and day-to-day life—from grounding to emotional clarity to conscious awareness.
If you’re new to meditation or curious about posture, check my quick YouTube tutorial on how to sit comfortably—without slouching or pain. When in doubt, a chair works swell.
Mindfulness Tools to Support Everyday Wellbeing
You don’t need more than 5 minutes to meditate, but if a seated practice doesn’t pan out, there are still a variety of effective mindfulness tools you can infuse into your day.
Actions
- Take a conscious pause. A pause is an ultimate mindfulness tool. It precedes most of them because it makes you aware of yourself. It’s especially helpful in moments of reactivity, stress, or overwhelm. Pause and consider your next step.
- Take a conscious breath. This breath is ubiquitous throughout these tips because it’s probably the most powerful tool there is. Even one deeper, fuller breath can calm the nervous system. Notice how you feel before, during, and after.
- Do a body scan. Start from the ground up, go from head to toe, or just tune into one area of the body to anchor yourself to the present moment.
- Notice the sounds or sights around you. I return to the senses whenever I’m feeling anxious about the past or future; sometimes I’ll name what I see around me to bring me back to center. This alongside the breath can be so soothing.
- Practice Metta / Lovingkindness. If you find yourself spiraling about someone—whether it’s lust or anger—pause and aim to wish them well. If you struggle to do this for someone you disagree with, imagine how they might act if they were filled with health and happiness. Try offering yourself well wishes, too.
Inquiries
- Can I be with this? When emotions feel intense, gently ask yourself this question. Whether or not you feel like you can be with what’s arising, offer yourself the same love and compassion you’d give a dear friend—be a friend to yourself.
- How does this serve awakening? I first heard this from Jack Kornfield. After you’ve felt and expressed your emotions (no bypassing), ask yourself how this difficult circumstance might “wake you up” to something you need to know or learn. It’s OK if you don’t know yet—just asking the question can be powerful.
- Is this real, or is it true? This is not a riddle. It’s a reminder I learned from Tara Brach that we often worry about things that might feel very real to us, but that aren’t actually true.
Reminders
- Impermanence / This too shall pass. Nothing and no one is permanent or stagnant. Let that awareness shape how you conduct your day by how you choose to act, speak, or move through challenges.
- Gratitude. Without denying pain, consider how life through a lens of gratitude vs lack might feel, and how it might brighten your day—no matter how gray it is.
- Avoid the double arrow. Another gold nugget from Tara Brach. First arrow: you feel bad. Second arrow: feel shame or guilt for feeling bad. You don’t need both.
- Everything belongs. Or: This, too, belongs. Or, as Dan Harris says: Welcome to the Party / High five your demons. No need to shove emotions under the rug—allow them to be present, maybe even consider befriending them. Easier said than done and nuanced when it comes to violence and injustice, but helpful when dealing with everyday frustrations and emotions.
- When overthinking or judging: say to yourself Dead End or Wrong Yardstick. Both of these helpful gems are from Dan Harris, inspired by his own teachers like Joseph Goldstein or Sharon Salzburg. Get out of your head and into the moment.
- Wherever you go, there you are. Literally the title of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book—highly recommend. Shifting your internal world is more meaningful and sustainable than chasing something externally.
- Action absorbs anxiety. When anxious, do something different—lend a helping hand or assist others in need somehow. Shift your mindset by engaging with your heart. Thanks again to Dan Harris for this one (FYI he did not sponsor this post).
Reach out for personalized support with integrating customized mindfulness tools into your own unique life—intro calls are free.
What mindfulness (or meditation) practices support you in your day-to-day life?
Take good care,
S
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