What it feels like in body & mind, “turning people into trees,” etc
As I was noodling around in my exploration of what self-love means to me and how to actualize it, I realized that this particular practice—like anything, really—begins with the simple (yet sometimes admittedly difficult) act of awareness.
Anytime a person seeks to evolve—be it career, relationships, life in general—the journey begins with becoming aware of yourself, including physical and mental or emotional habits.
Being aware of yourself might sound easier than it is—unless it sounds confusing, in which case you’re also not wrong.
Slowly but surely, though, if you’re willing to face yourself and learn potentially uncomfortable lessons that bring awareness to the habits you cling to, you might start to feel and notice a significant shift.
For example: By practicing more self-awareness and general mindfulness, I started to recognize the ways in which perfectionistic tendencies were masked as self-love.
I began to see that self-love practices like highly restrictive diets and routines weren’t in fact acts of nourishment, but rather a means of fixing what was “wrong” with me.
I ultimately realized that the way in which I approached my self-love practices were just as important as the practices themselves, so the practices have been audited and edited to give them deeper meaning.
Cue: A shift.
In my experience, embodying a more grounded approach to self-love feels a bit like:
- The clouds are parting, and the light that’s always been there is starting to shine.
- The muscles and joints soften—like you’ve just spent the perfect amount of time soaking in a warm, soothing bath or floating in a clear, salty sea.
- You feel like you can finally catch a break from perfectionist tendencies—like you’ve constantly been looking over your own shoulder, and now you can exhale; you can observe yourself without so much heaviness, bitterness, or sharpness.
- The spine feels a bit taller; a smile is a more habitual resting state; a deep breath comes easily and naturally.
- Being enveloped in a really great hug.
Self-love support
For some, the self-love realization might just one day click and automatically become the updated operating system.
Others (me) might need extra support from helpful tools like:
- Coaching or different forms of therapy
- Mindful movement or joyful activities
- Self-inquiry practices like journaling or meditation
- Dietary shifts if and when applicable
- Art, music, and creative outlets
- Nature nature nature
Either way, I know from experience that forcing self-love is not sustainable for mind-body embodiment. If it comes from a place of needing to fix yourself, it’s like planting a seed without watering it—leaving the seedling without enough nourishment to grow.
This is not about shame or perfect balance—it’s a practice of curiosity and cultivating balance when you feel off, over and over again.
Acceptance & action
To me, self-love is no longer anxiously aching to achieve perfection. Now it’s a practice of accepting where I’m at—including offering forgiveness if I’ve been harsh on myself—while also recognizing the areas where I can grow and evolve.
Like Ram Dass said:
“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees… some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.“
So use the mindfulness tools and practices that work best for you and play around with this self-love idea—try “turning people into trees” and see what unfolds, even if the concept feels distant, unachievable, and redundant (for now).
What tools and practices help you cultivate compassionate awareness, balance, and your idea of self-love?
How does this updated version of self-love make you feel physically and emotionally?
Take good care,
S
No Comments