Rethinking goals, expectations & “fixing” myself (instead: perfect imperfections)
In January 2025, I wrote myself a letter outlining what I hoped I would have accomplished in the coming year as a way of “putting the vibes out there.” Maybe I heard someone mention it on a podcast and it sounded nice, so as a lover of mindful rituals, it felt like a nice thing to try.
I stashed it away to be opened in January 2026—how fun and magical it would be to read about all the things I’d written that manifested into reality!
I had honestly forgotten what I wrote, and when I read it last week I was surprised to find that even though I know I wrote it all with good intentions, I realized my desires may have stemmed from a subtle place of needing to “fix” myself or my life based on what I felt I was lacking at the time.
This isn’t to say that last year wasn’t full of really sweet and special moments, it just was a bit of an ego-buster (see: broken wrist)—but life is cheeky and nuanced like that.
Et voilà: Though this letter writing ritual may work well for others, it didn’t have the magic spark I imagined for myself. Because instead of feeling charmed by my little heartfelt ceremony, I ended up feeling disappointed in myself for not having accomplished most of what was in that note. Wah wah.
In my last post, I wrote about how I steer away from making New Year’s Resolutions, partly because I realized that “I am not a thing to be resolved.” I believe this consciously and understand it conceptually, but after spending the first 20+ years of my life hosting a wide range of perfectionist tendencies and people-pleasing habits, I’m occasionally reminded that my subconscious may still think otherwise.
(Funny enough, while home for the holidays, I found a teenage journal in my old room at my parent’s house where I wrote “Something I just realized: Nobody’s perfect.” To some extent I suppose I’ve always known this, and I’m ready to actually live it now…)
If anything, this little NYE experiment reminded me of a few things I’d like NOT to do (or what I’m unlearning) in 2026—in case any of it lands with you, too.
Habits to stop entertaining in 2026
And what I’ll aim to do instead…
Not to fix myself out of lack, but to nourish myself from a place of love—with the help of the mind-body wellbeing tools I know and trust.
- Putting hopeful future achievements on pedestals, believing they’ll make me better, or that life will be easier once I arrive at these desired destinations.
- Instead: Recognizing that life is good now and I’m good enough as I am, even if I haven’t achieved what I thought I should by now. The more I practice things like gratitude, compassion, and present moment awareness, the more I appreciate what I have vs what I lack, even if triggers sometimes pop up.
- Putting wellness, mindfulness, and various spiritual tools on a pedestal, believing they’re the gateway to fixing what’s “wrong” with me and my life.
- Instead: Using these tools in a loving way to support mind-body wellbeing, not to be perfect it or get it “right.” My teacher Nikki recently said that even if we’re never perfectly “healed,” we can still be generally healthy. Chew on that.
- Believing that something is wrong with me or my life…
- Instead: Embracing perfect imperfection, or imperfect perfection. Continuing to notice the gifts and miracles, even when the big desires haven’t come into fruition. Life is too short to wait for something or someone to make me happy. William Arthur Ward said Happiness is an inside job—he was right.
- Being overly hard on myself for not achieving certain goals yet, focusing on perceived failures and getting swept up in shame.
- Instead: Staying fluid. Remembering that “failure” is relative, and everything is a learning experience—often rejections are redirections, too, so what doesn’t work out can end up being a gift. Choosing a healthy growth mindset vs a fixed all-or-nothing mindset.
- Putting all my eggs in the basket of my expectations.
- Instead: Holding my desires lightly and being wide open to how things unfold. Observing what feels good and what doesn’t, and doing my best to act in alignment with my values, whether it’s directed toward personal or professional achievements—even if things don’t pan out the way I desire.
- Breaking a bone!
- Instead: Not breaking a bone 🙂 Staying as healthy and aware as possible, focusing on a full recovery, remembering that discomfort passes / nothing is permanent—and maintaining infinite gratitude for an able body and mind.
I understand from personal experience that these ideas can make sense intellectually, but can be tricky to embody physically or emotionally—which is when old patterns and triggers take over despite our best efforts; when reactiveness pops up on autopilot.
This is why mind-body wellbeing tools matter—not to fix anything (because we’re not broken!), but to help us observe, move through, and understand how to regulate the emotional patterns that keep us stuck in the muck.
So even if things don’t turn out they way I hope, the idea of staying rooted in trust as much as possible feels much better than the idea of constantly being down on myself, or feeling frustrated about not having my sh*t together (but who does, honestly?).
A question I’ve been asking myself this past year is: If I can’t be happy now, no matter what’s going on, then when will I be? That’s usually when the tools re-enter the chat.
Onward
Here’s to a perfectly imperfect year and an imperfectly perfect you. May you feel nourished, supported, and equipped to move through whatever 2026 throws your way.
Does any of this resonate with you, or do these feelings feel totally foreign (and if so, what’s it like on the other side…)?
What non-nourishing habits are you ready to stop entertaining in 2026 and beyond?
Let me know.
Book a free intro coaching call for personalized support in exploring habit shifts, mindfulness tools that work for you, and embodied mind-body wellbeing in a way that feels aligned for the kind of year (and life) you’d like to create.
Take good care,
S
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