eat out + eat well

The Buddha said, ‘Nothing can survive without food.’ This is a very simple and very deep truth. Love and hate are both living phenomena. If we do not nourish our love, it will die and may turn into hate. If we want love to last, we have to nurture it and give it food every day. Hate is the same; if we don’t feed it, it cannot survive.

Thich Nhat Hanh, Savor

Every thing and every food is at our fingertips in New York City, whether we identify as vegan or paleo or fruitarian. Whereas eating out might have once been saved for a special occasion, nowadays it is considered a normal, habitual, daily practice.

Thanks to my upbringing, especially amongst my mother’s Italian family gathering around the table for shared meals, I have always had a decent balance of eating out and cooking at home. Having lived in a city of every sweet and savory temptation for the past six years, one of the most interesting ongoing experiments for me has been to figure out a way to eat as well as I do at home when I eat out.

Dining out is a weekly occurrence in my entrepreneurial-yoga-teacher life, but also feels like a special gift because it is not always a daily requirement.

I take pride in eating food prepared by myself because I know exactly what ingredients are going into my meals [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][energetic vibes included], increasingly so after diving deep into the wellness world throughout the past couple of years. It does take time to figure out how to purchase and prep fresh produce, but to me it is worth it, and like anything – the more I do it, the easier it gets.

My friend Paige and I were discussing this topic recently, and she mentioned that in her native Australia people generally cook at home most of the time. Restaurants and cafés were not always a place people frequented daily, and although it is sweet to have a local coffee shop or favorite pizza joint, it is an invaluable tool to cook at home and learn what it means to nourish ourselves in this way.

This does not mean we have to break up with our most beloved bakeries or restaurants. Our relationship with food is strong – when we eat somewhere we adore and with people we love, we are appropriately fueled, be it via a burger or salad. Aside from food allergies or fat content or health-related issues, each of us has some form of bond with or memory of a meaningful experience around food.

That said, many of us might also relate to the seesaw struggle of a love/hate relationship with food. When we are stressed we eat too much or feel too sick to ingest anything; when we are battling body image issues we agonize over what and how much to eat. Eating and food can go from a natural, necessary means of nurturing our bodies to a judgemental, fearful chore.

As children we ate what we were fed, regardless of whatever cravings we experienced, and probably instinctively knew when we were hungry or full. As we grow into ourselves and our bodies, and live through various physical and mental trials and triumphs, our relationship to food might shift and cloud our innate, intuitive concept of food and eating.

As such, now that I have more awareness around relationships with eating and openly share how whole foods have shifted my dietary choices/energy/life, I often wind up getting questions when I am out to eat with other people about what I order and why. I am also unashamed to sometimes be “that girl” who is not afraid to ask for modifications per my current dietary experiment, sensitivities or desires.

In short: I love the way I eat, I know what I want to eat, and am not afraid to ask for it. In my personal life, the act of eating is continually evolving from a calorie-counting weight-loss battle into a daily nourishment practice, wherever and whatever I choose to eat.

For a while now I have been answering questions from clients, friends and family on how to eat out and eat well, and so I thought it appropriate to share a few ideas on how to keep it clean when we are trusting someone else to prepare a meal for us, be it a breakfast meeting or steakhouse dinner or ice cream date.

Here are my top 10 tips on how to eat well when we eat out. Experiment with whatever resonates with you, or allow these insights to inspire you to find your own ways of keeping the food as clean and the experience as enjoyable as possible:

• Eat at home most of the time, and eat out for special occasions instead of habitually. Fast-casual restaurants like sweetgreen are a gift when in a pinch for clean options during packed schedules, but it is important to notice when we rely on anything we might over-do and find a literal healthy balance. Plus we rarely know who is handling our food, and it is crucial to keep in mind the energy being transferred from preparation to plate [i.e. are you OK with eating a meal made by an enraged chef?].
• Choose some form of organic, sustainable, or farm to table if and when possible. This goes for eating at home, too. It is imperative for our relationship with ourselves, those we feed, the food we eat, and the planet we inhabit. It is both a choice and responsibility to take care of the environment that provides us with everything we need.
• Drink water before and after your meal instead of during. Over-consuming is a natural occurrence when we eat out, especially since many restaurants serve larger portions than our bodies physically require. Drinking water before a meal will help fill us up a bit and avoid any urgent feelings of starvation [must eat anything put in front of me NOW], and it aids in hydration and flushing out waste from the intestines. Thanks water!
• Eat mostly veggies and all of the greens, steamed or raw. Choose protein options wisely based on how you feel and where you are eating, and fuel up with as many plants as possible. Vegetables, like water, are excellent sources of hydration and help keep digestion movin’ along.
• Look for healthy fats like extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil, and ask for it on the side if and when possible. Many restaurants drench meals with oil and salt, so I often ask for things like dressing or sauces on the side. Or just sub avocado [always].
• A little bit of gluten or bread is not the devil, but all of it can be problematic for digestion. Savor what you eat if you find yourself out for pizza or dipping into the bread basket, and remember it is not necessarily the meal itself [reminder: veggies].
• If you get dessert, savor it and/or split it. Relish the bites you take with whoever you are with, don’t feel obligated to finish it if you are full, and maybe even pause before considering it in the first place. Sometimes after waiting a few moments I realize I don’t even want to eat anything else, or just want something simple back at home like water, licorice tea, or a big delicious date.
• No regrets. Quit feeling guilty about eating bread or cheese or wine or cake, especially if it was a nourishing experience to eat out with someone who makes you smile. Regardless – it’s over.
• If you eat out often, eat the food you would feel comfortable cooking at home – if it is a special occasion, choose a spot that might accommodate accordingly. Unless you want a completely unique experience, that is. I am an avid nerd when it comes to researching menus and reading about restaurants; I try to choose places that mention something about sustainability and practice some type of environmental awareness, like using local produce or organic ingredients [see above], because it is what I value when I cook at home. I love ordering from local spots that make sweet and savory food with ingredients I know and love, and I also cherish going out to eat at places that respect the planet and make amazing, nourishing meals [whether it’s pasta or delicious vegetables]. It can also be exciting to eat something I have never tried before, especially when traveling, so long as it is in line with my values about what it means to nourish myself.
• Empower yourself to thoughtfully ask questions, and ask for what you want. Whenever I feel myself shy away from a question for fear of annoying the person taking my order or the person/people I am with, I immediately feel the regret in my bones. Even if I don’t get the answer I am looking for or temporarily agitate the server, I never regret asking for what I want because it is for the sake of my personal health, needs and desires. We are worth it, gosh dern it.
• Bonus: bring your own bag or empty jar/tupperware for leftovers. If it is a fast-casual spot or coffee shop, consider having bamboo utensils, handkerchief, water bottle or reusable cup on hand. Take care of the planet, it takes care of us and it is the least we can do.

For extra guidance on making food for yourself at home, refer to my post on healthy meal hacks.

How do you eat well when you eat out?

Read the newsletter for my favorite homemade summer salad, wellness happenings, good music and more.

Photo by Renee Choi at the Bedford Avenue subway stop in Brooklyn, home to many of my favorite eateries.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]