why weight?

focus on the content, not the container

When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’ That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.

Ram Dass

In this week’s Iyengar class, Genny Kapuler – who I quickly learned after 2 sessions is an arsenal of yogic wisdom nuggets – encouraged us to focus and work on the content versus the container.

Although we do use the container – our body – to access the content of what lies within, it is easy to get swept away by media – both imagery and written word – about what we should do and be; how we should look, dress, eat, feel, and so on.

This is not to say that guidance, assistance, and support is not valuable, although I do often wonder what would happen to our society as a whole if we paid more quality attention to our Selves in lieu of giving so much importance to the exhaustive amount of outside noise. Would and could we land in a place of acceptance of our body, relationships, career, physical and mental state of being?

As a dancer, instructor and student of yoga, wellness consultant, and more recently self-studier of Ayurveda, I am constantly aware of my inner and outer being. This sensitivity stemmed from a young age after long periods of time spent looking in the mirror, alongside other dancers of varying shapes and sizes, each of us watching and critiquing or being critiqued on our technique, strength, flexibility, and bodies.

The saga continued into my teens, when I found myself comparing my body to models on the cover of Teen Vogue, curious as to why I had curvy hips instead of a matchstick torso. I subconsciously built up anxiety about what I looked like, especially if I wore bikinis or shorts and – Buddha forbid – bare my muscular thighs. Dance costumes began instigating severe self-consciousness; anything that revealed my belly made me cringe.

I met friends and roommates in college who not only taught me how to cook, alongside frequent phone calls to my Italian mother, but also showed me cringe-worthy albeit trendy tricks of the trade like Splenda in place of sugar, Diet Coke instead of regular, low-carb and low-fat snacks to replace… I don’t even know, and so on. Although I was generally confident in my body and Self, on the inside I was locked up in Judgement Jail.

My ego continued to dominate in grad school, although I eventually wound up making non-weight-based decisions like when I read Skinny Bitch in 2008 and called it quits on meat, cold turkey. During that time I became more intrigued with eco-conscious living choices, food-related and beyond, in ways that were not solely dominated by my looming desire to be thinner.

Looking back, it is questionable whether or not I could really pinpoint what “being thinner” meant to me, why it would make me happier, and why I did not accept my body as it was at that moment. This became clearer after I moved to New York in pursuit of something different, and through yoga I was led to both working at and studying with Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

I began to make decisions based more along the lines of overall wellbeing instead of what would help me lose weight, even though deep patterns remained ingrained, like considering the calorie count after almost every meal. I did, however, start to pay more attention to my emotional wellbeing instead of putting all of the pressure on my physical figure.

When I began health coaching in 2012, I noticed that my advice to my clients was directly related to my own curiosity about my personal habits – what was keeping me from showing compassion to my Self exactly as I was? What did I think I would gain from being thinner, and in this short time on Earth – why on Earth did it matter so much?

Although I have not necessarily “cured” my habits of judging my physical and mental Self, I have certainly gained lifelong tools to support my overall wellbeing through practices like yoga and Ayurveda. This work continually helps me to observe and learn from my judgements, to embrace more of what is versus linking to the desires of what is not.

I was advised by the luminous Dr. Pratima Raichur a few years ago that it is OK to have desires, because they propel and motivate us to move forward and achieve great things. The discomfort arises when we depend on those desires for our happiness, because once we reach a goal we will most likely set more expectations and never find contentment in the moment as it is.

And so – why weight? If you struggle with this issue like I do – why is it an issue in the first place? How does it affect your day-to-day and overall wellbeing, and is it worth it to stress over it?

If weight is a serious health concern, then of course this is something to be addressed accordingly. If weight and body-image is simply the ego pumping ideas into our beautiful minds based on articles and media and so on, it is just as much of a health concern on a mental level, because stress is what ultimately leads to dis-ease and disease.

I encourage us to eat to fuel, sustain, and nourish, whatever that means for us individually, and to sit with our Selves in deep gratitude for what fills our lives and hearts in the present moment.

Our body is just the container or vessel for the contents of what lies within – THAT is the stuff that makes for a healthy life, not the number on the scale or the reflection in the mirror.

What helps you to cultivate compassion for your container and its contents, and eat to nourish mind, body, and soul?

Read the newsletter for more wellness happenings and discounts on some of my favorite healthy, earth-conscious brands, and check out my MindBodyGreen article for more insight on how yoga helped to heal my relationship with food.

Photo by Renee Choi wearing Athleta in Dumbo, Brooklyn.