right where we are
“If we are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One’s destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things.”
Henry Miller
Upon barely making our train last week, Danielle and I quickly hopped on to a train car that unfortunately did not connect with the car that housed our seats. We sat both begrudgingly and thankfully on the stairs by the bathroom, in front of the main doors which would remain closed until our next stop 1.5 hours away, surrounded by backpacks and bags of snacks. All of which – if you’ve been following along with me – feels like an unbelievable yet hilarious metaphor for my life as of late…
We had slept poorly the night before our trip for different reasons, and we were on our way back down south for 5 days on the Mediterranean coast at her mentor’s peaceful house in the hills. Many feelings were felt, from uncomfortable to excited; from totally scatterbrained to tremendously grateful.
I write this now after our petit repose by the beach, in transit from our fourth cross-country trip through France within a month. This time I landed in a comfortable TGV high-speed train versus an 8+ hour car ride, similar pleasant scenery to my left and right, a few crying babies here and there in place of Chérie FM, Danielle still seated next to me as we continue to brainstorm what comes next for The Provence Experience.
The few weeks in Paris of planning and executing events at lightening speed came immediately after [also during] the late nights and early mornings hosting our pop-up hotel experience in Aix. Days were spent rearranging my belongings like Tetris to fit nicely inside her apartment, pounding away on our laptops with logistics [re: business and life alike] before and after said events, not to mention hauling yoga mats and product and equipment up and down her stairs – even giving said yoga mats a rinse in her shower after our 50-person Brunch Flow at the Canal. And so we were exhausted if not thrilled to be on the move again to rest by the sea.
The sun and saltwater, boat and bike rides, morning practices and pool time, picnics and outdoor panoramic meals, World Cup watching and thunderstorm downtime were all a welcomed reset to reboot the creativity that had begun to burn itself out with so much forward momentum.
I also cooked again in a new [glorious] kitchen, slept again in a new [comfortable] bed with a new [stunning] view, found my away again around a new [delightful] space, continued my self-study of the elusive stick-shift, worked my way around incorporating Ayurveda into my [bread-heavy] meals, meditated and sat in silence with the sounds of nature, and journaled occasionally all in an effort to find my feet on the ground in this period of [continued] fluctuation.
Even though I sometimes get frustrated with the lack of my nourishing routines that I had so enjoyed in Brooklyn – moving from one body of water to the next this past month sure beats moving from one apartment to the next from this past January through June. I think back to those days as if it is all still a weird dream, served with a side of fear of the potential of having to revisit this ongoing transition when I return to the states.
Although I am beyond blessed to have been so supported throughout my moves and am fortunate enough to now be on the move again in such a gorgeous country, my sense of belonging [and my suitcase] is getting a serious workout.
Where will I live next, what will I take or leave behind, how will I get there, what will I do when I get there, what will I have to offer, where is the nearest store or healthy restaurant where I can buy ghee and organic vegetables? Where do I belong?
This arduous, adventurous, curious process is teaching me, if anything:
to be patient.
that things work themselves out in time [whether time means one minute or several years].
that we belong wherever we are, in our bodies and hearts.
that we can belong wherever we want to be, for however long we want to be there.
that we are resilient physically, mentally and emotionally, just like the Earth herself.
that friendly faces and helping hands are available everywhere, if we choose to recognize them when they appear.
that opportunities exist everywhere [see above].
that we can ultimately create the life we want for ourselves, no matter what society or anyone has to say about it.
that the world is a merciless if not absolutely magical place.
that what is real is not necessarily the same as what is true [i.e. our thoughts are a reflection of real feelings, but the scenario we imagine in our minds is not necessarily true].
that we can choose love wherever we are, whatever we are doing.
When I start to feel anxious about the pending questions of my current trajectory, I try my best [after acknowledging my very valid feelings] to remind myself that wherever I travel to next; whatever kitchen I end up cooking in; whatever roof I thankfully have over my head; whatever opportunities I left behind or have yet to pursue; whether my friends and family are near or far [because they are always in our hearts]; whatever language I wind up trying to speak – I belong right where I am.
And so whether you are uprooted like me or settled in your home and your ways, I encourage you to remember that we all ultimately belong wherever we are, wherever our heart is. Jack Kornfield says “The two things that you are always free to do – despite your circumstances – are to be present and to be willing to love.”
What does belonging mean to you?
Read the newsletter for a guided gratitude meditation from yours truly, a simple recipe for Ayurvedic-inspired stewed summer stone fruits, upcoming Paris classes and a sweet Bali retreat, exclusive nourishing discounts, and more.
Photo by Grant Henry Media.
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