rest + restore
One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.
Socrates
I don’t personally repost or report many scientific findings, but I encourage you to Google medical research on the correlation between quality rest and overall health and wellbeing. Better yet: monitor the effects yourself!
In light of recently sharing about my shameless surrender and decision to lean in to the vast landscape of emotions within the realm of my current circumstances and all that has led up to where I am both physically and emotionally, I have decided to “quit” anything extraneous until the end of 2019.
This does not mean I am completely checking out, but rather checking in. It is a commitment to doing less – which I am learning is in fact doing a lot – by allowing my mind and body to reset and restore after the many years of hustling in the land of entrepreneurship and NYC, a massive relationship shift, and a cross-country move without so much as a full 5 days completely OFF.
Yes – I obviously travel and am extraordinarily fulfilled by it, but I haven’t let myself go into 100% “off” or airplane mode. I’ve maybe given myself the occasional day or two of relief by not checking email or social media – sometimes consecutively – but I have always felt a responsibility of responding in a timely matter and constantly brainstorming/organizing in order to “stay on top of my sh!t.”
Over the years, however, the culmination of constantly doing more has resulted in multiple bigtime burnouts. From pounding the pavement in Brooklyn and Manhattan to continuing my personal yoga/meditation/nutrition studies to creating events and retreats to keeping track of bills and finances – all whilst maintaining a social life and nourishing myself via home-cooked eats/quick catch-ups over meals and matcha lattes/trips of no longer than 10-days at a time, it’s no wonder Universe has continually slapped me with a STOP sign.
One of the reasons I moved to Paris was to slow the fork down. I knew this was imperative for my stressed out system. Although I embraced it initially, I let this importance slide a bit by beating myself up when I couldn’t seem to land the events and workshops I wanted to after moving here, not to mention organizing bureaucratic logistics ASAP.
In Brooklyn, I began full-time teaching around 2015 after leaving my part-time position at Hyde organic yoga apparel. For about 4 years, I taught anywhere from 4-14 classes per week/anywhere from 4-7 days per week. Sometimes it was multiple classes a day, sometimes just once; sometimes it was corporate engagements or events. When I went on vacation or home for the holidays I would check emails regularly in order not to miss out on any opportunities, to keep track of schedules and invoices and contacts, etc.
Whether or not I was teaching one or multiple classes a day, whether or not I had a full day off, I would most likely be checking emails and taking care of the necessary logistics for my business – whether that was managing finances or creating content/marketing material or what-have-you. Who knew yoga teachers got so many emails?! Sometimes I would be staring at my screen until late in the evening; sometimes I would have to check-in in the morning hours if I had early classes.
Almost every time I visited Applied Kinesiologist Dr. Kantor, he would find adrenal fatigue, meaning the endocrine glands that produce adrenaline and cortisol (i.e. energy, alertness, mood) were wiped out. This is common for many city-dwellers and over-achievers, and it is not helpful in maintaining optimal health, even if you do all the healthy wellness-related things.
Over the years I pushed my limits until I would literally hit a wall and be forced to rest due to illness or just being straight up tired, and I found myself back in that pattern in Paris – and even feeling bad about myself if I wasn’t pushing those limits. I, like many, had essentially brainwashed myself into believing that I was only accomplishing something and deserving if I was doing more.
After some serious sinus junk and the bugs-that-shall-not-be-named situations à Paris, then again after hours of sifting through apartments while still teaching and managing necessary business/French logistical arrangements, I found myself needing a LOT of sleep.
Hence my decision to lean into it all versus resist it in order to really, truly heal; to lean into the gifts that I have in front of me in this moment (an amazing community, an incredible friend and his apartment in which I am currently staying, food wine butter chocolate), in lieu of stressing about what I don’t have (my own place).
And so alongside leaning in, I decided to “quit” anything extraneous for the rest of the year by embracing this time to rest/sleep in, journal, and do the bare minimum in regards to my business.
Yes I am still teaching at Modo and loving it, I am still meeting people and discussing ideas/projects whether my own or in partnership, I am still developing my 2020 retreats (so yeah, I’m still doing quite a bit). But I am so over being on the computer all day, worrying about what is next and what I have to get done or develop for the future.
There absolutely is a time and a place to work and hustle; to do what you need to do in order to finish projects or deadlines, especially if you are empowered and excited and if the work energizes you; especially for those who are caring for children or loved ones. I just realized that, for me right now, I must press pause and refuel my furnace in order to be able to be able to fully focus and run on optimal engine power.
It is true for all moments – but especially if/when we are on empty, we must nourish ourselves if we want to be able to nourish others. We must recognize that over-working or packing our schedule/day with tasks and completing said tasks does not make us any more worthy or validated than allowing ourselves space for restoration and pleasure.
Read that nugget again. Write it on your forehead if necessary.
Said nourishment comes in various forms – not just salads and cycling classes. If we fail to recognize this, you bet your sesame seed buns Universe will remind you in some way or another.
As it is my calling to perfect my craft and share this work with/serve my community, I created a nourishing action plan of inaction with the help of my business coach friend Elizabeth:
1. Rest. No apologies or disclaimers. Just CTFO.
2. If and when I feel inspired – pick back up on a project. No force or pressure.
3. Notice how I feel. Keep tabs on myself. Act accordingly vs react out of fear.
I am neither glorifying being busy nor praising being a passive couch potato – both of which have their time and place. I am simply trying to live by example by doing my best to return to a state of equanimity versus overdrive and remind all of us that sometimes doing nothing can actually accomplish a lot.
I do not take for granted the gift and joy and nourishment of being able to see the world; to eat the food and jump in the water; to travel with family & new/old friends. I bow in big gratitude for the opportunities and receive the inspiration to further be of service.
I also know that it is necessary that I be fully nourished in order to be of said service, and so I trade over-working and embrace more time for healing and pleasure, and encourage you to do the same if and when needed.
Read the newsletter for a quick cozy buckwheat breakfast, upcoming 2020 retreats to Costa Rica / Marrakech / Dordogne, 25% off for Sakara‘s special Black Friday sale (valid thru 2 December), online yoga + meditation, good tunes and good vibes.
Onward.
Photo by Amber Gregory at Chateau de Bardouly, Dordogne, France.
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