cultivating tranquility in transition

where you at inner peace?

The whole life is a succession of dreams. My ambition is to be a conscious dreamer, that is all.

Swami Vivekananda

In a time of big transitions myself, cultivating tranquility amidst the internal and external chaos seems as likely as finding a needle in a haystack the size of the United States. From managing logistics to emotions, a sense of calmness often feels far from attainable, let alone sustainable.

As Tara Brach says: life does not cooperate – we just have to learn how to work with it. I am by no means an expert, but as I reflect on my own experience over the past several months of instability and having to transition again just as I begin to settle, I can certainly consider myself a student of life’s fluidity.

Sometimes my legs feel as wobbly as a baby giraffe; I sometimes wonder if it is all a weird dream. As Swami Vivekananda says, the “ambition is to be a conscious dreamer.” Even when I question if I am currently living in an alternate reality, I remind myself to to find peace in the little things; to be as present as possible throughout the process so that I can learn as I go.

Having unstable footing has opened me up to possibility and a spacious [albeit somewhat anxiety-provoking] sense of freedom. Anything goes, and life has really left me no choice at the moment but to do my best to embrace it.

Thanks to yoga and meditation, especially a current meditation course I am halfway through with teachers Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield, I have found a few practices that cultivate tranquility – even if for a brief moment – during a time of perpetual personal transition.

Here are a few ideas and practices that keep me grounded as I learn to surf the waves of life:

• Enjoy your own company. On days when I have been alone, I would call friends and family, and if no one was around I did my best to be a good companion to myself. I did what I wanted in my own time, I made myself nourishing meals and watched whatever interested me on Amazon Prime, I both walked outside and curled up inside. Anything goes, as long as it makes you feel good, even if only for a moment, even if you have to gently coerce just a lime squeeze of happiness.
• Surround yourself with people you love. Whether it is just a text or a phone call, never be afraid to reach out. Let your loved ones be there for you in the same way you would like to be there for the ones you care about.
• Do things that bring you joy. For me this is concocting nutritious eats, calling someone versus texting to catch up, taking a dance class or squirreling around on my yoga mat, taking walks, getting out in nature when I can, watching or listening to something funny [I loved Amy Schumer’s SuperSoul podcast interview] or something inspiring [the power of delegation and priorities from this podcast resonated strongly with me]. Paint, play, laugh, have fun.
• Be grateful for where you are at, for however long it may be, and for the teachers and angels along the way. I kind of cannot even believe that the friends who have stepped up to nurture me throughout the past couple of months are real live humans. Miracles can exist in anyone; miracles are everywhere.
• Focus on what you have versus what you lack. This does not mean pushing aside emotions, but rather bringing the attention as often as possible to the gifts that surround you in the moment, however big or small.
• Leave judgement at the door. Feel the feelings, let them teach you, even if they feel confusing at the time. Honor them with a bow instead of shoving them in the proverbial closet, where they will inevitably tumble out to crush you.
• Be unspeakably kind. I got this gold nugget from Elizabeth Gilbert. Offer that kindness to your Self and others – it can be as simple as a smile to a stranger, giving spare change to a person in need, or volunteering somewhere that lights you up. Serving others is just as nourishing as a healthy meal.
• Take your time [when time allows]. Be where you are at, nowhere else, no rush or force. What we resist persists, and resistance can cause great suffering, even if we are anxious to get out of uncomfortable circumstances. Do your best to breathe and find comfort in things you love [see above].
• Breathe and move. Whether it is yoga and meditation or walks around the block and a few conscious breaths throughout the day – move the body and remember to breathe easily. Holding our breath blocks the flow of oxygen to our lungs and heart, constricting the body into a ball of stress, leaving no room for tranquility or expansion. Plus – what a gift to have a functioning body, right? Try to enjoy it when you can.
• Rest. Contrary to the breathing and moving – listen to the body and rest when you need. Processing emotions is physically exhausting – there are moments where I have been so tired that I find myself with no choice but to be in bed with BBC’s original Pride and Prejudice on my laptop. Honor that and chill if it feels necessary.
• Give it up to God/Source/Universe/Higher Power. When the stress feels too overwhelming, ask for guidance, or call on Divine/Buddha/whatever you believe in to hold some of that anxiety for you. As you offer gratitude for the relief, trust that the energy flows where the attention goes. The more we focus on our heart’s true desires and have faith that it is a reality, the less we will worry about getting there, and so we can cultivate a bit more peace in the process [even if the process is challenging].
• Home is where the heart is. Wherever you go, there you are, and there is your heart. Reside and take comfort in the love that lives inside of your heart, wherever it is you end up, for however long it lasts before you move on to the next physical or mental residence.
• Remember life flows like water. Nothing is stagnant; everything is fluid. What a relief, right? Do the best you can to ride the tides.

What keeps you stable when the ground underneath you starts to fizzle? What can you do to practice gratitude in the times of instability and uncertainty?

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Photo by Grant Henry Media.