busting the ego & personalizing the practice
Have you ever done something because you think it will make you healthy, only to slightly suffer as a result (like you’re doing a good thing, but in an ineffective way)?
That happened to me with yoga, and it’s unfortunately not an uncommon story.
During my 8 years in NYC, I took (and taught) sweaty, challenging, vinyasa flow yoga classes to ensure I “got a good workout” a few times per week.
The “slower” classes didn’t do it for me – I sought movement, sweat, and the feeling of pushing through a limit (even though I was pooped and probably needed rest TBH).
Although yoga is incredibly physically and mentally healthy – as is a balanced sense of ambition – there were a few problems with:
- Needing to feel like I had control over the way my body looked via how much exercise I did (shameful, but sadly true for many people – especially women).
- Wanting to prove I was a “good teacher” by studying / practicing it frequently (even if the classes I was taking weren’t always very diverse).
- Wanting to prove I was a “good student” because I was “advancing” my practice by doing difficult poses and strong classes (even if my body felt really, really tired).
There were, of course, consequences to said ego-driven desires:
- Even though I aimed to execute alignment principles diligently, the faster-paced vinyasa classes I taught and attended inspired me to push myself into poses that exacerbated existing issues from my dancer days (my back!) without understanding how to properly care for or modify them.
- I developed a pretty serious comparison and perfectionist complex and held myself to such high standards that, when not met, were a source of shame and disappointment (therapy and coaching helped!).
I was missing the point(s) of yoga all together – one point of which is cultivating a balance between physical and mental steadiness and ease (yoga = “yoke” or “union”).
It’s not an excuse, but it’s helpful to be aware of the fact that this type of misunderstanding or misuse of a thing can often happen when another culture’s healing methods are appropriated.
This can come in the form of wanting too much of a good thing, using the thing to “fix” yourself, and both obsessing over and generalizing the thing instead of intentionally practicing it in ways that address unique circumstances.
When I first started taking Iyengar yoga (i.e. a “slow” class) with Nikki Costello and occasionally Genny Kaupler (both absolute gems!) – especially as I moved through the significant physiological changes that coincide with the 30s – it was like my body and mind finally started to understand and actually embody what yoga was all about.
I was also surprised to find that by holding postures for longer stretches of time, my mind got more of a workout than my body, and sometimes it felt like my body got more of a “workout” than the vinyasa classes I had once deemed as more “challenging” (using so many “quotes” to convey the many shifts in “perspective”).
Nikki shared in class recently that yoga asana – the physical practice – organizes both the body and the mind: it places the attention on something physical, and it simultaneously [re]aligns the inner landscape (muscles, joints, nervous system, etc).
Through the course of navigating indeterminate health issues, shifts in living situations, and other natural yet frustrating monkey wrenches, I started to learn and lean into the importance of slowing down in my yoga practice, my thoughts, and my life in general in order to organize and stabilize versus ignore and push through.
Living in France has also been an eye-opening albeit sometimes merciless teacher in eliminating excess, prioritizing quality of life, and taking things at a steadier pace.
Although strong movement, fluidity, and fast-paced physicality is still important to infuse into all of our lives to varying degrees, I’ve learned to embrace yoga in much more customized, therapeutic ways by understanding how I feel physically and emotionally, and practicing to address those unique needs.
This reflective, personalized approach has helped anchor my attention to boot – especially in a time when social media and politics (etc) can scatter and stress us out.
I think of it as balanced preventative care for the sake of longevity.
In the spirit of the upcoming slower seasons – and during a period when we could all really use some grounding – I invite us to:
- Check in with how we’re feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally.
- Discern what we need in these areas (i.e. strong or soft movement, breathwork or meditation, a good cry or a genuine laugh, a glass of water or a hearty meal).
- Slow down and reorganize if and when we feel overwhelmed or inattentive.
- Rinse and repeat.
Enjoy 3 private links to 3 different classes, and explore what might help you organize your body and mind based on your unique needs:
- Restful and soothing: slow restorative flow (27 minutes).
- Steady-paced and manageable: beginner flow (21 minutes).
- A nice challenging flow: arm balances (33 minutes).
P.S. I still love teaching vinyasa classes with a balanced application of alignment 🙂
P.S.S. Paying more attention to the body and mind in this way will naturally lead to paying more attention to how we treat the planet (i.e. win win).
*Practice with me 1:1, on-demand, on YouTube, in-person, or in Paris on 19 October.
When have you maybe gone overboard on a good thing, and where might you be able to slow down and reorganize?
Take good care,
S
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