Putting the mind-body wellbeing tools to work (see also: learning how to Fall)
I broke my wrist three weeks ago, I’m moving through it (learned how to type and do basically everything with one functional arm—a true circus!), and I’ve been reminded of the many effective and ineffective ways our bodies and minds respond and regulate.
I do believe that the body “keeps the score” in many ways; that emotions get stored in the body and can cause physical discomfort or dis-ease. I’ve experienced this myself in the ways in which I’ve stored anxiety in my gut and joints.
That said, I’ve also just witnessed how the body not only knows how to regulate on its own, but also how to access its arsenal of supportive tools when needed. The latter was crucial when I felt my brain getting squashed by mental distress caused by physical distress—all of which is valid, but not necessarily healthy to get stuck in.
The more we practice anything, the more habitual it becomes. So although the body has incredible primal instincts, we will be even more thoroughly equipped when those instincts are supported by skills we’ve intentionally developed. As a result, the body doesn’t necessarily keep a ninja grip on “the score” forever.
We build this capacity through practices like mindful movement and meditation, as well as how we respond to everyday life—whether mundane tasks, big and little accidents, or the big and little T-word moments. We prioritize this type of preventative care so that whenever the physical, mental, or emotional hiccups happen, the tools are on deck and at the ready.
I’m sharing my personal processing here in case it helps you remember your own tools, or in case you could potentially use a few of the tools I had to access on my own when my mind occasionally slipped down into the “F*ck all of this” portal.
The backstory
I can laugh at some parts of this in hindsight as a full-on Comedy of Errors due to many various inconveniences outside of breaking a bone, but I also have a lot of compassion for myself for weathering this storm—all while recognizing the miracles that supported me along the way. So basically: all the feelings.
I was near the top of a difficult route at the climbing gym. I already suspected I should have let go earlier because I didn’t feel completely steady, but determination took over. When I topped the route I started slipping, and I knew it would be a weird fall.
Fear and instincts took over—as they sometimes do—and from 4 meters above I braced my fall with my hand, which is the exact thing they tell you never to do. Then came a horribly audible CRACK and shocking pain.
Kind climbers rushed over and waited with me until gym staff arrived with ice, who stayed with me until the ambulance came to shuttle me to the hospital. Quel drame.
In true Mercury retrograde fashion (that explains everything, right?), the sequence of events that followed pushed my patience and sanity to their edges. I walked away with a new reverence for hospital staff and those in the medical world, an unexpected gratitude for pain medication (at appropriate doses, when needed!), and an even deeper appreciation for having fully operational limbs.
The next weeks were a blur of bouts of pain and puzzling moments of figuring out how to function with one functional arm (the answer is: very slowly). I’m still moving through the emotions and physical discomfort that go alongside healing a broken bone, but as they say: C’est la vie.
On to the intuitive and chosen tools that have kept me from losing my marbles 🙂
The tools
Situations like these are where we put our wellbeing tools into practice, but it can also surprise us when some of the tools that nourish our body and mind naturally arise.
Our bodies and minds are both inherently intelligent healing systems, and yet there’s always more to learn about how to care for ourselves (and others).
P.S. These tools to could also be especially useful during a hectic holiday season.
Intuitive + natural responses:
- Making noises. Moaning, fluttering the lips, sighing. These natural responses to intense pain were actually imperative in getting through it. It’s similar to humming, which has been shown to support somatic release.
- Shaking. A full-body release and an effective response when moving through or processing pain, stress, shock, and big emotions. My body did this on it’s own.
- Letting tears fall. There was no point in trying to be stoic alongside so much pain and disappointment. Stoicism is my natural tendency in tough situations (former New-Yorker), but this time there was zero resisting, and it was really relieving.
- Deep and occasional strong breaths. A healthy way to move through pain, fear, adrenaline, and uncertainty. It also helped me process emotions in the aftermath.
- Stopping and resting when something felt off. There was literally no way I could push past anything, as I often do (re: NYC past life). Even though I still had to care for myself, I physically absolutely could not overdo it. It was rest or bust.
- Sleeping in. There was no trying to stay on a set sleep schedule when sleep was often hard to come by. If my body needed to stay in bed longer than my preferred rising time, I had to choice but to surrender to it.
- Nourishing myself. I’m glad I’ve trained myself for eating and hydrating well to become my norm because it helped a lot—even if it took 3x the time and effort to make meals. It also prompted me to research herbs and other holistic remedies that would continue to support the healing process.
Conscious + chosen responses:
- Praying for strength. Whatever higher power you do or don’t believe in, I found this really helpful. It gave me something positive to focus on when I felt like I couldn’t physically or emotionally handle it, because I needed the strength and courage to handle both the pain and the all emotions that went along with it.
- Not abandoning meditation and accessible movement. I sometimes slipped into a vortex of holiday movies on the couch, but fresh air and moving my functional limbs despite deep fatigue brightened my day and my mood. I would normally include these in my intuitive reactions, but I needed the encouragement here.
- Relinquishing non-essential tasks for the time being. This is counterintuitive for me as I lurve a clean, tidy, organized space and schedule, but many things had to temporarily be thrown out the window. It was honestly a relief.
- Consuming fun, inspirational, light-hearted, and laughter-inducing content. Cheeseball holiday films, comedian podcast hosts (Good Hang is gold), and memes were all medicinal. Mindfulness and wellness includes lightness, too.
- Feeling feelings, processing, regulating, noticing miracles. The trajectory was: getting upset, using various tools to process and regulate, and acknowledging my luck (I’m a righty and broke my lefty; my partner had an old sling I could use; the surgeons played Binaural Beats in the operating room per my request). This process validated my emotions and helped me see the sparks of light.
- Considering the best possible outcome after acknowledging fears. See above—feel, process, be open to miracles. I was sometimes grumpy and sad, but I chose what felt more nourishing whenever possible—even if things were difficult and didn’t work out as planned. It’s similar to yogic philosophy’s Pratipaksha Bhavana—replacing a negative thought with a positive one, or “cultivating the opposite.”
- Reminding myself that pain—like everything—is temporary. My friend was also recovering from an injury when my break happened, so she reminded me of this because she was telling herself the same thing. This is super hard to consider when pain is so overwhelming, but it is still an important reminder to conjure up.
- Forgiveness. Was I angry with myself and that freaking climbing route? A little bit. Thankfully I have worked on forgiveness a lot, and it came in handy here.
- Spirituality. Per the first point, actions like praying and using other spiritual lessons and tools are effective in rebalancing a very imbalanced physical and mental state. It feels settling to trust in the process, even if the process is uncomfortable. David Ghiyam and Spiritually Hungry offer great practical tools.
Onward
Life is unpredictable. Maybe you’ll never break a bone, maybe you’ve been through far worse. All we can do is do our best to trust our body’s natural healing mechanisms and keep cultivating the tools that nourish our physical and mental wellbeing.
The more we build supportive habits now, the more our body and mind know what to do later—both automatically and intentionally.
Work with me 1:1 to cultivate your own personalized mind-body support system for everyday life and as general preventative care.
Reflect:
- How has your body naturally responded to incidents in ways that helped you regulate?
- What tools do you have or want to build to further equip yourself for mind-body regulation moving forward?
Take good care,
S
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