For anyone who gets frustrated with Wellness… but still loves it
This idea first sparked a few years ago during conversations with friends in the Wellness world, and over time it led me to recognize one habit I’d like to bid farewell to: putting Wellness on a pedestal—assuming it can fix all my problems and create complete mind-body equanimity.
Maybe for some people that’s true: they take a comprehensive test or somehow uncover a root cause, and it helps resolve other issues as a result.
Although I’m not jealous of other people’s pain—it’s awful to feel unwell—I admit I’m sometimes envious when people receive a specific diagnosis and know exactly what to do to ease their symptoms (i.e. a gluten sensitivity, which I do not wish upon anyone!).
Over the years, I’ve experienced a variety of confusing symptoms that have come to no solid conclusion aside from anxiety—a story in my drafts for another time—and many have persisted despite my valiant efforts to practice Wellness as I understand it.
I know from experience that Wellness in the form of movement, nutrition, and mental-emotional wellbeing needs to feel accessible, tailored to individual needs, and realistic enough to be able to maintain in everyday life. This understanding led to my Holistic Health Coaching pillars of Accessibility, Personalization, and Sustainability.
Because I’ve been open to trying many methods and modalities, I’ve had the privilege of learning a lot about various forms of Wellness and holistic health—whatever you want to call it. One thing that’s become increasingly clear is there’s no one single approach that works for everyone, which is why personalization matters so much.
All that said, alongside my curiosity, I also developed the aforementioned habit of putting Wellness on a pedestal. This occasionally inflated my hopes to the point that when things didn’t go as planned, I crumbled and ended up mad at Wellness.
Like a toddler realizing they’re not going to get the ice cream cone they’ve been dreaming of all day, I started to get cranky when Wellness didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to. Expectations weren’t always met. Results weren’t always as promised.
But what have I been waiting for?
A grand epiphany?
A bright lightbulb aha! moment where all these symptoms disappear?
For my life to reorganize itself into a more enhanced, balanced, abundant version of what it is now like I’ve seen it happen for others?
Have I been tangled in a seriously unhelpful comparison trap alongside it all?!
Probably all of the above…
So… why so bitter?
Like any industry, there are a few character flaws with Wellness and its participants:
- When something is marketed as a one-size-fits-all solution.
- When there’s a suggested “right way” to do things—while dismissing other methods, products, or people.
- When the messaging implies that something is definitely inherently wrong with you—and Wellness will fix it.
- When it feels like you need to be a full-time influencer or invest a good chunk of change in pricey tools and practitioners just to participate.
I use, believe in, and appreciate many of these fun protocols, products, and healers. At the same time, I’m also frustrated that so much of Wellness feels inaccessible—which makes Wellness seem like a bougie, luxe world that others simply can’t reach.
From my perspective, what we now call Wellness grew out of time-tested practices and remedies—like yoga, TCM, and Ayurveda—that have been around for centuries because they were designed to heal individuals based on their needs. When you’re lucky enough to work with a trusted practitioner, these methods can be life-altering.
Many of these original Wellness practices have had to adapt to us as our internal and external conditions changed. But their ability to evolve alongside us and meet us where we’re at is one of the reasons why OG Wellness is so powerful—and so cool 🙂
Checking my ‘tude at the door…
In reflecting on both the wonderful and unfortunate aspects of Wellness—obviously very nuanced, like most things—I’ve realized there’s responsibility on my end, too:
I’ve pressured Wellness to resolve everything—like marketing promised it could.
I’ve judged Wellness for being inaccessible—how dare it make me feel like I absolutely need a tricked out device to address aging skin or EMFs!
I’ve watched people heal using the same method I tried—and then judged:
- myself (what’s wrong with me?)
- others (why did it work for them and not me??)
- Wellness itself (why did you dupe me???)
Redefining Wellness & my relationship with it
The thing is, I don’t want to be mad at Wellness.
I love Wellness—it’s part of my work, my studies, and my life through physical health, mental and emotional wellbeing, nutrition, and ecological consciousness. Because of the many components that exist under the Wellness umbrella, it’s taught me so much about myself, others people, culture, history, and our relationship with the planet.
So here’s how I’m trying to redefine Wellness in hopes that I will cultivate a more balanced relationship with it and pump the breaks on the pressure.
Let me know if any of this resonates—it’s on ongoing, evolving conversation.
Accept that Wellness means different things to different people.
It can sometimes feel vague, influencer-driven, and exclusionary—but it can also be deeply meaningful, supportive, and practical. We can choose our own definition and relationship with it, all of which can also change.
Remember that Wellness is personal.
We have unique experiences, priorities, and desires based on our own body, nervous system, history, and circumstances—so choices and outcomes will differ.
Appreciate what’s worked.
Notice which products, foods, habits, or practices have supported you—and why/how. What positive changes or shifts have you observed in your mind-body wellbeing?
Notice if and why Wellness irritates you—without judgement.
What or who are you putting on a pedestal that isn’t serving you right now, and why? Can you let it go for the time being without assuming it’s “wrong”?
Acknowledge subtle healing.
Sometimes progress isn’t super dramatic—a bit less bloating or a slight shift in a reactive response can still be incredibly potent. Reflecting on small wins can help us realize what’s improved instead of getting grumpy about what hasn’t changed (yet).
Stop trying to do all the Wellness things.
If we do want to try something, we can explore it with curiosity and care instead of fear, urgency, or lack. We don’t need to stack all the things all the time, either.
Stop comparing.
Period, end of sentence. Pay attention to A. What’s important to you versus someone else, and B. How things do or don’t work for you personally. Use it all as intel to move forward and carve your own path.
Shift the focus and avoid perfectionism.
Know your WHY. Focus on what feels good and supportive for the sake of longevity, not perfectionism. It’s OK to try things that end up not feeling quite right, too—we can appreciate ourselves for the steps we take, even if results aren’t as expected.
Release the pressure and be as content as possible with how things are now.
Without bypassing any frustration, see if it’s possible to be good to yourself now instead of waiting for or relying on Wellness to remedy things. Remain open to different solutions, and learn from where you’re at in the present tense.
Remember that Wellness evolves—it’s rebalancing, not permanent.
Wellness is ongoing—practices shift as we grow. What once worked well might stop being of service eventually; what didn’t work for a while might help later. Seasons change. Trends ebb and flow (i.e. Green Juice heals! No wait, Protein!! JK—Fiber!!!).
Be aware of false claims and ethical practices.
Can’t stress this enough. There are so many things labeled as “Wellness” that don’t involve ethical practices—or that are stamped as “natural” while still containing toxic ingredients, whether it’s apparel, food, or supplements. Doing our research matters, but so does holding brands and practitioners accountable. Invest consciously.
Bring in gratitude.
It’s of course important to learn how to regulate the nervous system and process emotions—but gratitude can make really powerful shifts in our mental landscape, too. It’s a privilege to explore what Wellness means for us at all (without bypassing the pain that likely brought you to Wellness in the first place…).
Onward
Stepping off my soapbox. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Mic drop. And scene.
How do you relate to Wellness right now—how has it supported you, and how has it made you cringe?
If you’re feeling a bit bamboozled by Wellness but know it can be supportive, book a free assessment call to start exploring accessible, personalized, and sustainable mind-body wellbeing approaches in ways that work for you.
Take good care,
S
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