What does being healthy mean to you?
Have you ever done all the healthy, wellness things until you were blue in the face, only to still feel kind of unwell?
Have you ever then resented said healthy, wellness things and wondered WTF being “healthy” actually means?
Before I continue – I know I know I know that physical health is a deeply personal, nuanced, and sometimes touchy subject. I’m certainly not here to give medical advice.
But after 11+ years coaching and studying holistic health – including plenty of personal experimentation – I can share what I’ve learned about how reframing my mindset’s limiting beliefs around health has supported my physical wellbeing.
This is easier said than done – especially if you or someone you love is navigating chronic health conditions.
That said, for those of us who feel frustrated with health, there’s an opportunity to shift our perspective, make the most out of our current state of health, and maybe even open new doors to the health we desire.
For years, my mindset around health was rigid – an overwhelming laundry-list of must-dos, protocols, and right vs wrong choices. If my approach had a title, it would’ve been something like: Things I Absolutely Must Do To Ensure My Health – Or Else!
This debilitating belief was probably influenced by things like over-emphasizing the whole sin or go to Hell dilemma from childhood religion classes, the media in general, diet trends, and the teeny-tiny waistlines of my beloved Disney princesses (See also: Love = Being rescued by Prince Charming).
Top it off with intense empathy for animals and the planet, and an eventual over-enthusiasm for wellness trends (See also: God-fearing complex).
Eventually, I developed an underlying fear of doing my body “wrong.” All of this led to anxiety around being unhealthy in general, or a core belief that being unwell = being wrong = probably not getting into Heaven.
I was also desperately looking for external things to solve my problems. As we do…
Before I figured this out via tools that led to the 4 Questions below, I was jazzed to learn about dietary theories and holistic health from yoga teacher training, Ayurveda, and my Health Coach certification.
Although my excitement was genuine, the former perfectionist in me – bless her – was a bit bamboozled by conflicting advice. Each system’s spokesperson claimed that their way was the most effective way – even if it contradicted another method that worked for other people – and all of these theories had science to prove it.
Send help.
I gave myself permission to try things, which was both fun and enlightening. But it seemed like nothing ever really “worked” until I dove fully – and restrictively – head-first into Ayurvedic diet and lifestyle habits.
At some point, though, my body even stopped responding to Ayurveda the way it was before, and I was at my wits end.
And like Liz Gilbert said: “I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.”
Another light-bulb moment during this mind-body transformation period came when I saw a doctor about recurring gut issues. After reviewing my bloodwork, he asked me about my past and my stress patterns.
Because my lab results were inconclusive, his #1 recommendation was to de-stress in whatever ways worked for me before running more tests, and see what happened.
I got the memo, did a lot of true self-care work like what I share below, and learned just how much my mindset was keeping me in a tailspin of dis-ease.
I still believe whole-heartedly in Ayurveda and other holistic health protocols. But I see now that I had put every health practice I followed on a pedestal, which means I approached all of these healing opportunities with a large serving of anxiety.
This Must-Do-This-Or-Else mindset kept me constantly strung out on health, which deteriorated my gut, immune system, and mental wellbeing – even though I was doing all the seemingly healthy things.
Cue a long and exasperated sigh.
Through deep mindset work and tools like the ones below, I realized that I had boxed health into rigid rules, which closed me off to other ways of feeling well.
I should-ed myself to the bone, and my physical and emotional wellbeing suffered because of it.
Although I’m still very much a work in progress, my mindset is no longer fixated on one perfect way of healing or achieving physical health.
So there’s no one-size-fits-all physical health solution, and maybe there’s no concrete answer for you in this lifetime.
But! If the mindset is equalized – if we view wellness and life in general with more openness instead of fear – health might feel much more manageable and attainable.
Even if your ideal state of physical health is never completely achieved, the hope that it’s possible can be healing in other ways.
Our mindset – or mental wellbeing – and physical health are inextricably interconnected. Search for studies and insights if you seek science-backed info.
Life is so precious – why not make it as enjoyable as possible by taking care of both our body and our mindset?
Speaking of a precious life: Today happens to be my 6 year France-iversary 🙂 Enjoy my sweet Paris City Guide if you plan to visit!
Feel free to review my 4 Basic Self-Care questions for a baseline starting point.
1. How do you currently feel physically?
How does your overall health feel? What beliefs about health might be limiting you? Are these thoughts potentially affecting your physical or mental wellbeing?
Identify how you’re feeling physically, whether specific or general.
Notice the thoughts you have about physical health – like what foods or actions you label as good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.
Pinpoint the thoughts you have about physical health that feel particularly intense – whether they’re general or in relation to your own symptoms and conditions. What thoughts or symptoms make you feel anxious, overwhelmed, ashamed, or discouraged?
My example: I feared I wasn’t being good or healthy if I didn’t move my body a certain way, which was especially linked to my weight. I also put doctors and strict protocols on a pedestal as the only way of healing gut issues, contributing to anxious behaviors.
2. How do you desire to feel physically, and what do you want to believe about physical health?
In your ideal world, how would you want to experience health in your body? What would you ultimately want to believe about your own physical health?
Your answer is often the opposite of your response to Question 1 – even if it feels unrealistic at first.
My example: I wanted to move my body in ways that nourished me, out of self-love vs fear. I wanted to relieve gut issues, trust myself like I trusted doctors, and stop believing there was only way to heal. I wanted to love myself no matter what wellness things I did or didn’t do; no matter my current state of health, weight, or capabilities.
3. What’s getting in the way of this desired physical health?
What thought patterns or beliefs keep you from feeling how you want to feel physically? How might they possibly block you from receiving physical health?
Revisit Question 1. What repetitive thoughts, fears, or limiting beliefs reinforce unwanted behaviors and emotions? Does this result in any physical symptoms?
My example: The fear I experienced around being unhealthy – whether due to my immune system or appearance – sent me into stress spirals. This negatively affected my sleep, drained my energy, screwed with my digestion, and caused inflammation.
4. What steps can you take toward your desired physical health?
What daily or weekly actions – whatever practices suit your lifestyle and accessibility – align with your desired physical health in your body and mindset?
General action steps could be similar to the Mindset Self-Care tools:
- Meditate: Consider themes like equanimity, body scanning, and gratitude.
- Experiment with affirmations, like: “I am thankful for my body and all it does for me. I appreciate what I’m learning in my current state of health. May I be happy and healthy.”
- Journal: Use these 4 questions as prompts, or list what you’re thankful for about your physical health – even if your health is challenging you right now.
- Work with a therapist or coach: Having extra support can help with deep-rooted beliefs about physical health and how it might be affecting you now.
- When you catch yourself fixating on health, guide yourself to the present moment: Notice your breath, the object(s) in front of you, how your clothes feel on your skin, what you smell or hear, etc.
- Connect with aligned and encouraging friends, practitioners, or medical professionals: Expose yourself to people and information that expands vs limits.
- Connect with your younger self: Reflect and talk to them if you feel that blocks or conditioning around physical health stem from that time.
- Try one thing at a time: Don’t do everything all at once, and explore with curiosity.
- Stop doing something you’ve placed on a This-Will-Make-Me-Healthy pedestal: Redefine what is good vs bad, or healthy vs unhealthy. Gently befriend your fears.
- If you struggle with integrating healthier practices into your life: Add vs remove. Experiment with simple, time-friendly activities or habits that work for you instead of immediately trying to restrict your behaviors.
My example: My practices evolve over time via trial and error. If it’s helpful to imagine what action steps could look like, here are a few things I did and still do:
- I took more days off from exercising and did less intense movement than I was used to – even if it was uncomfortable mentally. I focused on calming my mindset during these moments to train myself physiologically that everything was OK.
- I took a break from strict protocols and started eating more intuitively. I sought out people who were healthy without doing any insane biohacking stuff – observing Europeans eat and live well has helped with this tremendously!
- I tried to focus more on the health I had instead of the symptoms I disliked.
- If I wanted to try a new supplement, herb, or protocol, I aimed to approach it from a place of curiosity instead of anxious urgency.
- I reflected on old beliefs about physical health, and investigated why they were there. I talked to the younger version of myself who believed these things, gave them a lot of love, and discussed new nourishing beliefs – à la Parts Work.
- I tried guided visualizations via hypnotherapy, meditation, and apps to learn how to neutralize my mindset and cultivate more open-minded beliefs about health.
- I stopped following fear-based health media and took things I read about wellness with a grain of salt – remembering that not every single thing works for everyone; that I didn’t need to do every single thing to ensure my own health.
- I took note of what I really enjoyed doing and made a point to do the things or be with the people that made me feel joyful; like the best version of myself. I realized how much this contributed to both my physical and mental health, too 🙂
Having accountability with this helps, even if it’s just a friend to check in with.
What kind of relationship do you desire to have with physical health?
What healthy habits or practices bring you sincere joy?
What version of health feels truly nourishing to you?
Reach out for personalized support – 20 minute introduction calls are free.
Take good care,
S
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