On planting intentional seeds, letting go of the outcome, and allowing things to grow
I love things neat and tidy and in their place. I’ve been one to use the excuse of My space must sparkle before work is done! in order to sweep, clean dishes, and swipe countertops when my productivity could be probably more productive elsewhere.
You might know this feeling if you’ve ever been under the illusion that being in control of your surroundings = being in control in general, and control = success and safety. Unfortunately I was duped.
When I first found wellness, my type-A brain short-circuited with delight as I started uncovering all the ways I could “fix” what was “wrong” with me. What fun to be able to clean and tidy up (i.e. control) both my internal and external environments!
After years of experimenting with different wellness practices, rituals, and products—and still not having solved the mysteries of a few of my “issues” (Lord forbid I wasn’t spic and span inside and out by now)—I started to realize that maybe having complete control wasn’t the answer. In fact, it only worsened my already anxious tendencies.
Even though my intentions with wellness and spirituality have always been heartfelt and aimed at my greater good, I came to accept that too much of a good thing can occasionally be to our detriment. It can burn out our internal Control-Center fuse.
And it turns out that doing something for our “greater good” can sometimes mean obsessing over fixing everything that’s “wrong” with us so that we’ll eventually be “good enough” to get the results we desire. It doesn’t really add up.
In short: I’ve exhausted myself.
The antidote has been to learn the opposite of what I’ve been doing (classic), which is essentially trying to:
- shift from fixing myself out of fear or lack (i.e. I’m deserving only if I’m good enough) toward rebalancing myself from a place of love and care.
- understand the root of why repairing and rebalancing matters to me (i.e. I want to feel good so I can be a steward to the planet and help others feel good).
- get clear on what I can control: my actions and reactions, where my mind spirals off to, how I process and regulate emotions, how I choose to move forward.
- recognize that there is often something special percolating in the waiting period, if we give it space to evolve (i.e. loosen the grip).
- release control of the outcome and trust that things unfold as they need to, even if it’s not how I initially intended or the timeline looks very different.
Download my free MINDSET ebook for extra support in your own (un)learning.
When Spring enters the chat
Spring is a refreshing emotional and aesthetic reminder that life happens outside of our control—flowers eventually bloom again after drying up; beauty and life reappear after everything has shriveled back down into the dirt.
In each season, nature miraculously does its thing without anyone telling it what to do. We can’t control how it ebbs and flows, and we certainly can’t control the weather (see also: when Spring has a laugh and reverts back to Winter).
In rituals like Ēostre (Ostara) and other cultural celebrations, Spring represents rebirth and growth. Day and night are equal in length on March 20—quite literally symbolizing equilibrium as nature reboots.
Nature is the ultimate teacher in so many ways. The more we look to it for insight—and get quiet enough to listen, feel, and experience—the more we might loosen our physical and emotional grip on what we think we control.
We can plant seeds with intention, nurture them with patience and care, and release the outcome (or at least try) with trust and curiosity.
We can also simply use our control intentionally for Spring rituals like cleaning a closet, refreshing a bookshelf, scrubbing that part of the shower we’ve been avoiding, or reorganizing the pantry (etc) to make space for whatever’s germinating to blossom.
To celebrate is to honor
It’s easy to get pulled into the sewage of what’s happening in the world and feel strange about celebration, self-nourishment, or any type of ritual right now.
But I’m realizing more and more that life is like that—there’s dark and light, winter and spring, cold and heat, pain and pleasure.
Celebrating the seasons can be a way of honoring:
- the nuance that transitions hold
- past, present, future, and the in-betweens
- the Earth and how it nourishes us
- physical and emotional ups and downs
- both the enlightening and painstaking lessons
- one another—and the different ways we move through and honor life
Connecting to the seasons in whatever way feels aligned can also help us set personal intentions for the coming months—and relinquish control over the outcomes, too.
The more we practice these opposing forces, the more likely we are to be more in step and in flow with ourselves, each other, and the planet we all inhabit. It’s worth a try…
Onward
In December 2025, my former meditation teacher-training mentor Sean Oakes wrote this insightful nugget, which reminded me of what we can and can’t control:
Rest into the unfathomable complexity of the conditioned world. It is not ours to control, to master, or to save. It is ours to inhabit, and to love, and the more ease and wisdom we can bring to our inner life in this world, the better it goes for everyone out there.
Here’s to inhabiting Spring and beyond with love and attention;
to cultivating inner ease and wisdom;
to acting consciously and compassionately as much as we can
(while easing off the Control gas pedal along the way).
In what ways are you honoring the season or releasing control lately?
Reach out if I can support you in taking intentional action without burning out from trying to control it all—coaching and corporate wellbeing assessment calls are free.
Take care,
S
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