And why that requires showing up for yourself (we must!)
The way people have shown up for me as I’ve slid up and down the waves of a recent transition I’ve been navigating has meant everything.
It’s ye olde “put your own oxygen mask on first” principle, and I’ll say it till ye olde cows come home: taking care of ourselves equips us to care for each other.
I’ve been beyond fortunate to lean on friends who haven’t judged or dismissed me, even if they disagreed or saw things differently. Nearly every person I’ve confided in has had the courage to witness emotions and offer both comfort and insight without pushing anything on me or labeling me as a lost cause.
(In this process I’ve also remembered that ‘tis I who is my harshest critic. Classic.)
And in flipping through my mental Rolodex of the people who held the net that caught me as I stumbled, I noticed a common thread: they’ve all done (and still do) a solid amount of self-work—hence their ability to show up for me in ways that both held and empowered me.
Each of them practices some form of self-inquiry, self-improvement, mental and emotional health, and physical wellbeing. To varying degrees and in their own ways, they read the books, listen to the podcasts, engage in various modalities of therapy or coaching or mindfulness, care for their body, and actively put into practice their own methods of emotional honesty and resilience.
They also aim to live their lives without getting stuck in a vortex of constant healing or perfectionism. They stay open to different cultures and experiences; they acknowledge their mistakes but aren’t afraid to keep making them; they do their best to stay true to themselves even if it’s against the grain of what’s considered “normal.”
As the receiver of this support, I’ve done enough of my own work to know that, when someone offered a perspective that didn’t quite resonate, I could examine the triggers and take things with a grain of salt. Somewhere deep down, I also remembered that it would be my own inner wisdom and instincts that would walk me through the fire—while also knowing that the support from others was absolutely essential.
All that said, no one is perfect, and I’m not suggesting we must all be exactly alike or do exactly the same things to care for ourselves and others. Sometimes a person might benefit from creating healthy boundaries around either giving or receiving; sometimes it might behoove another person to open up the clam shell a bit more.
But what I will say is that the importance of nourishing ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally has become even clearer to me through this experience of needing steady support. Because I sincerely hope that I can offer this kind of support to someone I care about when it’s needed, too—even if imperfectly.
And the majority of said support was virtual—so while I also believe in the power of in-person community, tech can really pull through when necessary. And although I’m taking a social media break myself (recommend!), I’m grateful for tech for that reason.
Voilà. Give thanks for the people who nurture you whether times are good or bad, happy or sad—and nurture yourself so that you can be one of those people when it’s needed, too.
What and who has cared for your lately—and how are you caring for yourself so that you can show up for others when duty calls?
Book a free assessment coaching call if I can support you on your own path forward.
Take good care,
S
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